About 10 years ago, a psychiatrist put me on 200 mg.of Pristiq. After I turned 62, I developed painful stomach irritation. It became so bad that I could only eat small amounts of bland food. I was constantly hungry but couldn't eat. I had an endoscopy. The diagnoses was mild to moderate stomach and esophageal irritation. The biopsy was normal. My liver and pancreatic enzymes were normal. I tested negative for hepatitis B and C. A sonogram showed that I had no gallbladder stones. My gastroenterologist didn't know why my stomach was so irritated. She said something like, "You're probably an acid maker." I was already taking 60 mg. of Dexilent which did nothing to relieve the pain.

I started doing my own research and discovered that I was on an excessive dose of Pristiq; that the normal dose is 50 mg. When I questioned my psychiatrist, he said that he had patients on 800 mg. Then, I noticed that my stomach pain became much worse about an hour after I took my dose of Pristiq. I read that the drug itself is basic, so I thought that my gastric irritation was related to a neurotransmitter issue. The entire episode was an education. I found out that many physicians view psychiatrists with disdain. One physician told me: "They're not real doctors. They're legal drug pushers; that the chemical imbalance theory for any mental illness has never been proven and that science doesn't completely understand how neurotransmitters work and interact with each other."

Be that as it may, I found another psychiatrist who was willing to help me taper off Pristiq. I was worried about withdrawal effects because I read horror stories from other patients who tried to withdraw. The primary problem is that the smallest dose of Pristiq is 25 mg. I read that to avoid withdrawal effects, one should withdraw no more than 10% a month from the dose you're on. So if you are on 200 mg., it would be a 20 mg. drop. Then, you'd be on 180 mg., so you would need to drop down by 18 mg. The amount titrated would need to keep getting smaller after every drop in dosage. I wasn't sure what to do. I read about getting Pristiq compounded into a slow release liquid but I knew that would be expensive. So I decided upon a different course.

I knew that vigorous exercise can mitigate the withdrawal effects from almost anything. Exercise causes the body to make natural chemicals that block withdrawal effects. A number of years ago, I read an article written by an opium addict who was going through a medically supervised withdrawal. It was at a time when opium was legal and could be purchased at any pharmacy in a form called Laudanum. Many unfortunate souls became addicts. The article's author mentioned something interesting: Every patient was experiencing agonizing muscle spasms except for one. This one patient walked 10 miles a day. Evidently, the exercise relieved his withdrawal. I decided to exercise vigorously every day. I walked at a rapid pace for half an hour and then either lifted light weights or did yoga. My entire workout took about 2 hours. When I titrated by the first 25 mg. I felt no withdrawal effects. As I got lower, I felt mostly psychological symptoms. I didn't feel depressed, however. I was experiencing strong feelings that I didn't understand. For example, I would become angry by things people said to me that I found hurtful. I would break down in tears when reading a poem. Luckily, I had an excellent clinical psychologist who helped me to understand what I was going through. And this is the key. One really needs a connection to someone with the intelligence and insight to act as a guide. My guide was a depth psychologist. I was very fortunate to find him. It wasn't easy, though. I went shopping for a therapist. I viewed each session with a new therapist as a job interview. I was doing the hiring. They had to meet my needs. I didn't fall for the authority figure nonsense. Nobody knows everything and even the best make mistakes. That is how we humans learn, by making mistakes. I also knew that many people become therapists in order to solve their own problems. There are many destructive therapists out there. But the few good ones make up for it all. I knew my search for a therapist would have to be objective and systematic. I refused to allow myself to fall into any traps. Some bad therapists will try to play on your weaknesses to make you feel insecure. One in particular, when I told her she wasn't for me, said that if I don't let her help me, nobody would be able to. I saw through her. I had already lived too long to fall for such nonsense. (Although I do remember telling her, "You sure have a very high opinion of yourself." She didn't like that but I didn't care.) One needs a dose of arrogant determination to go through the maze of the mental health system. And never fall for the kind therapist who wants to take care of you. It's another ruse to take away your autonomy. A good therapist will act as a guide and always encourage your independence.

Well, I'm completely off the Pristiq now. I'm grateful that I can weep from a beautiful poem or piece of music. When I get angry, I accept that part of myself. Yes, it's normal to get angry. What's not normal is to go through life in a drugged out stupor like a zombie. It took me a long time to reach this point of emotional health. I still have work to do. It never ends. I sincerely hope that my experience will help others overcome their fears and live a richer life.