Thank you for asking. My primary autoimmune disease- CIDP (chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy) started during the COVID 19 pandemic as I served in various hospitals as a healthcare chaplain. I was also diagnosed with Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and diabetes. Before 2019, I was healthy, working full time in my chosen profession, and living a full life without restriction.

Today, the disease leaves me unable to walk without a cane or walker. I use a wheelchair for distances. I am on sabbatical for now. This illness has affected my life profoundly. Accepting that CIDP is a chronic lifelong illness is overwhelming. The restrictions on mobility affect everything. The disability to engage in the life I once lived affects everything else. I can imagine that people who have an autoimmune disease, and those who care for us, could say this nightmare of a sickness is that bad.

On the other hand, my prognosis looks good. My faith is strong. My resolve is firm. I am responding to a combination of IviG and steroids. Physical therapy is ongoing. I am adapting to a new life with my illnesses. I am getting stronger and looking forward to working again when I am able. My family are my champions and are most supportive.

How has CIDP affected me? In a word, “loss.” I have a newfound empathy and understanding for people who experience loss. I have cared for people who experience material, relational, functional, role, cultural, social, and societal loss from illness and other calamities. I thought I knew, or grasped, loss before my own struggle. Because I cared for people with broken bodies and hearts, I thought I could feel their pain in some way. I really did not grasp the depth of emotion and pain others experience when faced with life changing illnesses like CIDP. Although my heart and head were in tune with my care for others, now I see them, and their struggles, a bit more clearly from experiencing my own losses.

Loss is a great teacher. I am learning that each morning is a gift, each sunset a wonder and every breath a celebration- experiences I took for granted far too long. I am keeping a positive outlook and am thankful for the health I do enjoy.