New subject that I don’t know what category it should fall under.

6 months ago my drs suspected that my lower abdomen was bleeding due to my Lavenox injections for my blood thinner as my Coumadin didn’t lower my blood levels. As a result I had to inject myself in the abdomen with a chemical that is supposed to thicken my blood. All because I had open heart surgery to replace an aortic heart valve.

If it’s too thin I could bleed out or if it’s too thick I can have a heart attack or stroke or blood clot anywhere. I spent almost 20 days inpatient at a trauma hospital because my entire belly was bleeding inside.
It took 20 days to finally clear me for discharge as my issue has stabilized.
While I lay in bed for 20 days I lost the ability to walk so I spent 10 days in rehab. Now I can walk again.

My main anger factor right now is that while I was in the hospital my weight went from 212 lbs to 186 lbs. I was ecstatic but then I noticed I was inching back up after I got home. I was determined to stay under 200 as I was now 196. I hit the 200 mark yesterday and I’m ready to commit suicide.

I’m a diabetic type II. Have heart disease and controlled high blood pressure and a new aortic valve in my heart. I am devastated. What do I do now? I’ve gotten into the habit of drinking a couple of cokes a day with 2 bags of m&m’s.