Hello, @edgar23 I'm Scott and I was my wife's caregiver for her 14+ year war with brain cancer. I'm sorry for your husband and your journeys, but glad you found Mayo Connect. I came to connect during some of the toughest years of my caregiving years and it really helped me with my feelings of isolation and at times sadness bordering on despair. I am sure your post will help others -- I believe it is a huge help knowing we are not out here alone in our caregiving lives. They are so intensely demanding!

I admire your ability to see the improvements in your husband and send you heartfelt congratulations! Every step is huge and can bring us joy and hope while so often we don't see much good in our loved one's situation.

One thing with my wife was her tastebuds constantly changed and I took to asking her every day what might taste good. I couldn't always make it for her, but it helped me try and stay in tune with her changes in that challenging area.

While it wasn't always easy, my wife always did better at home and out of the hospital. I always noticed an (at times tiny) improvement in her calmness and comfort. Remembering that often helped me while doing all the extra wash 🙂

One of my favorite quotes helped me during caregiving and it is this: "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that can only manage to whisper 'I will try again tomorrow'".

I, too, hope this helps.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Hello @edgar23 ,
I read what @IndianaScott wrote to you. His advice is full of kindness and of wisdom that comes from experience. I am so sorry that you are going through this and even though I do not share the same experience Scott has, I wanted to jump in here, hopefully to offer a suggestion for you? My significant other nearly died seven months ago due to a ruptured, gangrenous gallbladder. He was in septic shock on admit and went on to have a half a dozen or more serious complications. He had a bile leak and a stent was put in. The stent blocked and in addition to that he had kidney failure, severe malnutrition, a post op abscess, pancreatitis, anemia, sepsis, peritonitis, and also had his lung punctured accidently during an attempt to drain the abscess. He was sent home after a month in two different hospitals with an intra-abdominal abscess, fungal infection, a hospital acquired infection, severe malnutrition and could barely eat. We had to have an additional 7 weeks of IV antibiotics, 24hr/day in order to give him a chance of survival. There were three high powered antibiotics and one antifungal. In order to save him, these toxic drugs also did a number on his immune system. His hair fell out, he got seborrheic dermatitis other side effects from the antibiotics. He did not throw up bile, but it was draining from his intra-abdominal JP drainage tube in large amounts. He would not eat. He would become so nauseous. They talked of an NG tube for feedings. He would hear none of that! I feel your anxiety. Watching your love suffer is so very painful. And I don't know about you, but I felt so helpless. All I could do was pray and keep trying day after day. He slept in his recliner for almost two months. I slept on the couch next to him so I could be there if he needed me. I didn't want to be too far away from him. One thing that really helped him start making progress was I discovered Premier Protein drinks. It was packed with protein, 30g. He liked the taste (vanilla over chocolate) and he got some nutrition as well. It was easy on his stomach. I think we have gone through 4 or 5 cases now! I had experimented with Boost and Ensure and other brands too. The Premier Protein I get now is at Costco. It was stressed to us that protein is essential for his recovery and healing. I love that you celebrated the little things. I felt the same way. I remember being so happy when he ate anything at all, and even happier if he ate a little more the next day. It was a long, seriously hard journey with many ups and downs. The added bonus to getting him drinking the protein drinks was each day, little by little, he got more strength back. Because nutrition is so essential for healing, finally the progress started moving in the right direction. I am not an expert in anything, but I did want to share with you what helped my guy in his situation. I don't know if drinking protein drinks is recommended in your husbands case. Perhaps you could ask his physician or dietician? Did they give you a diet to follow? I hope you come back and share your journey here. Take care of yourself too. It's important you stay healthy physically and emotionally. God bless you.

@edgar23 Is your husband home now? Did you get support from the hospital, like a home care nurse? Is he doing better now that he’s home? Write down any questions or issues that come up so you can ask the doctor or nurse.
Can you get some neighbors/friends or family members to help>

Hi Sophia, I thought I would check in. How is your husband doing? How are YOU doing?