Is being mentally numb at all normal?

So, I need to say after scanning through some of the posts I feel like an idiot mentioning my issue at all. However, I am going to go through with it in hopes that there is someone that can relate. My story is that at the very end of Jan 2023, I was diagnosed with ILC in my right breast, and I went to the 3D Xray appointment quite impatient, as I had an interview after that, and about a third of the way through I realized that the interview was just that, and this was about my life (owed everyone in the office an apology, and I did!) But talk about a smack in the face with the realization....you see I am 60, no kids, single, somewhat attractive, or so I think (ha!), been flying throw life willy nilly, by the seat of my pants ... yep! I have always been a solution girl, no whining, just what's it going to take for a solution....so that is how I approached this. And you know for me there was no TV moment in a Dr.s office with the file in her hand and somber, it was a Dr, saying in passing yea I'm thinking cancerous, again I didn't take it for gospel, but after a couple of days, I had a thought that this is a Dr, who does this every day and is not her first rodeo....so Genine, (that's what I call myself since that is my name) WAKE UP! I did! But still with the thought that they will take a dimple out of my fabulous tits and I will keep moving on through life....ahh no! Anyway, speed through to a month later I had a double mastectomy and now I am 6 weeks after surgery and two days away from going to my plastics guy to discuss what and how about my new tits. And my oncologist put me on letrozole a week ago and to date only a week but no weirdness yet, however I expect it. My issue is that if you ask me I absolutely am numb with emotion or hurt from cancer, still have no real emotion, feel some pain from the incisions and the damn restriction caused by the expanders...what a bag of BS we ladies go through to be beautiful...oh man! I guess I just am wondering if anyone can relate at all. I cry when I read the ladies that have all this pain with their meds, cause I am guessing that is what is going to happen to me, and honestly makes me wonder - what if I had just done nothing... I am just venting and appreciate you allowing me to, but seriously...............oh my!