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My Opioid Addiction

Chronic Pain | Last Active: May 11 12:29pm | Replies (165)

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@rwinney

Hello Carol, @carol1024, it's nice to meet you. 30 years on your feet...it's no wonder you have chronic back pain. I took vocational cosmetology in high school, but due to back pain I never tested to become licensed. It just wasn't in the cards.

First, congratulations on tapering down Xanax! Wanting to rid of benzos is an incredible accomplishment that you should be proud of for pursuing. Second, always taking the least amount that you need of an opioid is responsible pain management. Thanks to @summertime4 for such a profound post. So true, is right! Seeing it both ways is important to have understanding and empathy when it comes to addictive medications.

I'm wondering if you've ever considered an all inclusive pain "rehabilitation" center? Not a pain clinic or pain management facility - a place that treats the whole person, body and mind? I used hydrocodone, plus medical marijuana, injections, ablations...you name it. I tried benzos and other stuff and hated every minute of it, but never knew what else to do for myself - my pain, my symptoms. None of my docs offered up any more than meds. For me Mayo Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Center ended up being my "drug" of choice. Here is who helped me -Dr. Sletten from the Mayo PRC discussing chronic pain and rehabilitation. Maybe you will find it interesting. He's a pretty dynamic speaker if nothing else.

For you to worry that one day you will wake up and not be able to get out of bed is torture to yourself and makes me sad for you. I had those days and they were miserable. Do you think you might consider trying nerve medication? Why have you chosen not to?

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Replies to "Hello Carol, @carol1024, it's nice to meet you. 30 years on your feet...it's no wonder you..."

The xanax and beta blockers I take because of a brain aneurysm I had in 2011. I have anxiety very bad. My doctor said he would put me on a non benzo for my anxiety if I wanted. The problem runs in my family. Our adrenaline pump doesn't cut off. That fight or flight feeling you get?, yeah, things don't return to normal like they should. I have had every kind of heart test you can imagine. When I had the heart cath last year, the doctor said I have healthy, strong heart with no blockage. It used to feel like a machine gun in my chest and would scare me so bad I'd call EMS. The metoprolol slows my heart down and is a Godsend. I've gone months with no palpitations and skipped beats. I also have nerve medication. I've got a whole bottle of gabapentin, I've tried Lyrica, I don't like how it makes me feel. I think it didn't mix well with other meds I was on. The only way to fix the problem is to get the discs off the nerve. The fluid between discs is drying out(can't remember what it's called right this second) and the nerves get caught sometimes, depends on what I'm doing. I have areas on my back where the nerves branch out that are numb, about the size of a nickel, used to be dime sized. When I first had issues, I sat on a 5 gallon bucket and pulled weeds from a garden. It was the back and forth rocking I did for hours that did something. That night I couldn't hardly move and it felt like my back needed popping. This was in 2000. I couldn't get out of bed for a week. Everytime I would put weight on lower back it would spasm and hurt and I'd fall back into bed. After a week, my then boyfriend called non EMS to take me to hospital and they did x-ray, gave pain meds and sent me home. I was referred to orthopedic doctor and he gave me a shot in lower back and I was good for about 28 days. So the back thing isn't going to get better until I get the nerves out of the way. I have sciatica at times very bad. I can't do any repetitive bending or leaning at an angle. I can do thorough vacuuming like changing attachments and going along walls and because I'm bent over a lot, I can hardly straighten up when done. At times I have to stop and sit. I love to sew and had to raise my table about 4 inches so I wouldn't have to lean at awkward angle while cutting pattern. I don't sew anymore because of it. The pinched nerve in my neck, made worse from years of holding arms in air doing perms, cutting, etc, makes it numb across top of shoulders. I can't sit at a computer and sit in chair, on edge. I have to lean completely back. I'd do taxes and after 10 minutes sitting upright midway in chair, my shoulders were numb and burning. I could scratch it and not feel a thing. I also tried a chiropractor and felt good for about 3 days then right back to where I was. So, I think surgery is the only thing but that's about $25,000 for the procedure to fill in the discs and lift if so nerves don't get caught. Right now you could say I'm in holding pattern, just taking one day at a time. ❤️