@cashemire Hmmm. That's unfortunate that the gynecologist did not think a dilator would be of use. I'm going from my experience. I do have a partner so I had been sexually active however the Mayo Menopause and Sexual Health Clinic providers told me that it's always good to keep your vagina "healthy". This makes it easier and less painful for you when you have internal pelvic exams. I had never thought about it in that way.

This is something you could get another opinion on from another gynecologist or from your family doctor. If you do get a recommendation for moisturizers and a dilator I can recommend that you find a soft dilator. I find it more comfortable to use. Mayo Clinic sells vaginal moisturizers and dilators at their Mayo Clinic Store which you can access online.

Mayo Clinic Online Store

-- https://store.mayoclinic.com/health/women-s.html

I use a vaginal suppository called Hyalo-Gyn that can only be ordered online and you don't need a prescription.

Hyalo-Gyn

--
https://hyalogyn.com/
I also use a moisturizer from Good Clean Love in a tube to help insert the suppository and nightly in the vulva and lower vagina. Target carries the Good Clean Love brand or you can order online from Mayo Clinic. I use the Good Clean moisturizer with hyaluronic acid as that was recommended by my radiation oncologist.

-- https://goodcleanlove.com/

@cashemire I would go the dilator and coconut oil as suggested, anyway. You have nothing to lose and more to gain. I recently had a hysteroscopy - ended up being a failed attempt at one, because it was extremely painful!

Unfortunately where I live no hospitals do hysteroscopies so if I still have to go through another attempt I will ask to go to any hospital outside my city so I can be sedated - or at least be given local anesthetic!