Oh my goodness.!...thank you!

I don't think I've ever had someone take the time & make the effort to say and share what you've just said here. I deeply thank you. I also feel when beginning to discuss anything related to this subject that the person is about to 'exit stage right'...that there's not enough time or interest to be present, to listen. Not enough time to "sit with me and my struggle", not enough time or interest to call it what it is, acknowledge its impact and toll, with the hope being I can then set it aside and trudge forward.
Even as I type this the voice inside questions my experience, doubting any of it, or that it could have had the impact it did. And there I sit, once again stuck, mired in what was, instead of what yet could still be.
Thank you friend @nemo1. I'll keep trudging along, and hope that soon my heart can pulse more with joy in being, than just the duty to exist.
Hugs to you and hope we will be connecting further along the way.