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Thank you for your suggestions and comments. Yes there is a senior center where I live and, in fact, I live in a 55 plus community which also has groups. But here's the thing. I find it difficult and even impossible to go to them. I feel that there is this large neon sign on my head that says "see this person. She is alone because no one likes her." Of course my sane self knows this is not true, but that's the way I feel. My therapist told me that I was so traumatized by my abusive mother that I am now suffering from PTSD. Also I have no support group except all of you. I find it difficult to make friends. I can go out when necessary, to the grocery store, bank and library, but that's about it. I am still grieving for my husband and sometimes the pain is very dreadful. I just don't have the will to live any more.
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Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as you can without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your Truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story! Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter: for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career however humble, it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is. Many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not veign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the council of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you and sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle to yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the Stars; you have a right to be here! And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding exactly as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with god, whatever you conceive him to be. And whatever your laborers and aspirations and the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy!!!
-Max Ehrmann 1927