... so I may just leave it at this for now. But, if only I could be able to recognize, find, and connect with a person/s of good heart and soul that I could feel genuine with - without feeling heavy about things - and enjoy some fun things too. Religious settings I find unsettling, so that is not an option either.

Wonder if there's even a group I could find somehow where gathering to discuss these kinds of struggles is valued, private and - may be even provide some opportunity for growth in getting BEYOND this drag on my energy.

Wishing well to the many others here, writing and sharing, living and hoping, and trying and managing to see a brighter day.