Hi @thisismarilynb -- Take baby steps and you'll get there. When I was a freshman in college I received the "Shyest on the Floor" award in my dorm at the end of the year. That was embarrassing. I had moved and changed schools too many times growing up and I just became more shy each time. I was tired of starting over and assumed everyone already had all the friends they needed. I thought I probably wouldn't fit in anyway. There are a lot of people in my life for the past 30 years that would find that very hard to believe. Now, I'm the organizer for neighborhood events with a lot of activity during the years in between. Mostly, I just forced myself to take risks. Who would have guessed? When I first moved into my current retirement community to help my ailing mother 7 years ago, I didn't know anyone. We have a performing arts center in here with lots of tribute concerts. So I decided to be bold. I grabbed a bunch of different concert flyers and went knocking on doors of single women I had seen out walking their dogs. I asked if they had been to any concerts and most hadn't. I said I was trying to get a group of ladies together to go, were they interested in any of these concerts, and I'll pick up the tickets. 4 out of 5 said yes to one or more concerts and we are still friends. One became a best friend and goes to all the concerts with me and more.

You just have to take risks and start small. Start with the intention of having a good time not only so you'll have fun, but so others around you enjoy your company and long for more. When you get together with someone, leave your woes at home. You can get back to those later. Maybe invite someone out to lunch, over for tea, for a walk, to see a movie or over to play cards. Treat it like a first date and be on your best behavior with a positive outlook and stories. They can hear about your challenges when you have an established relationship. If one person says no thank you, so what, ask someone else. Maybe take a neighbor a tray of cookies and introduce yourself before the invitation. Make it specific, "Would you like to come over tomorrow..." If you say, "Maybe sometime was can go to lunch" it probably won't happen. Maybe you can call the local senior center and ask them to start you out with a nice group of ladies at your table. Be bold. Tell yourself you can do this.

This is oversimplifying your self-limiting beliefs, but don't let the behavior or opinion of one person drive your relationship with others. You know your husband loved you, married you and stayed with you for 59 years so he thought you were worthy. 59 years is pretty impressive. I have faith that you can overcome this. You just need to find what works best for you.