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Hi @bpknitter53 -- I'm glad you brought up decisions about genetics. I'm sad my son inherited BRCA2+ from me, but I don't feel guilty. I didn't know. He doesn't blame me. I don't blame my parents who didn't know. I'm glad I was born regardless.
IMPORTANT: For anyone BRCA2+, their spouse needs to be tested for BRCA2 before having children because if both parents pass that mutation onto their child (25% chance) it creates a much more serious rare disease called Fanconi anemia. That's a different ballgame. Luckily, only about 1 in 500 people are BRCA2+ so it's unlikely that both parents will have it. Hopefully, they told you about that when reviewing your genetic findings.
You cannot feel guilty for what you never knew. You only know what you know as they say. I believe we all do the best we can with what we know.
I also am a firm believer in moderation, maybe wrongly, but I don’t think a life of the occasional glass of wine or sweet kills anyone.
I do hope there is a day when women don’t get breast cancer, but I don’t believe feeling bad about ourselves is ever helpful.
Has your daughter been tested for BRCA genes?