Hi @katrina123,
I think we mourn for the person we lost, who our spouse was. I remind myself that that person is gone and try to think of my husband as the person he is now. Your husband may not know that you are his wife anymore, but he probably knows you as the person who is there for him everyday, helping and guiding him. He would be lost without you. The important thing is that you are there for him.
I was lucky in that my husband gave up driving easily. I think he was relieved not to have to drive anymore. He only lasts in front of the tv for five minutes now, if that. He's taken quite a shine to a neighborhood dog we feed everyday. We walk for half an hour to see her, weather permitting. He remembers her name and tells me he wants to bring her home, but that would be difficult.
Last Easter, I had a friend over for dinner. I told him she was lonely and asked him to talk to her. He did, but afterwards, he was exhausted and stayed in bed for hours afterward. Social interaction takes a lot out of him.
Sometimes, after a visitor leaves, he tells me, "I never want to see that person again."
The thing is, he won't remember that later. They say never argue with someone with Alzheimer's Disease.
I hope your physical therapy goes well in addition to your husband's surgery. My husband had hip surgery a year ago. I was worried the anesthetic would really disorient him, but he was okay.
Take care,
Teri

Katrina, I am a retired speech-language pathologist that worked with people with dementia. I empathize with you going through this heartbreak.
You said the hardest thing was not knowing if he knew who you were. The important thing is that he feels you are someone that he feels safe with. It would help both of you if you just tell him before every interaction who you are and what you are there for and what you are doing next.
An example:”Hi John, I am your wife Katrina. We are partners. I am here to help you ——It is time to ——.
One thing that many family members have told me is that they have a schedule that is the same routine everyday. It helps the person to feel secure. And then the caregiver can remind them, “next we go for a walk, then after that we stop for coffee.”
Please don’t ask him to tell you who you are or who is visiting. Just state it as a matter of fact. Actually asking a lot of questions is stressful and not helpful.
I hope my suggestions will relieve some of your anxiety.