@mdr3 Thank you for your kind words. You were the smart one getting a second opinion. I didn't think I had a complicated case, but apparently every case is complicated. Sorry about your side effects, but yes, the lesser of two evils.
As for attitude, I feel like I don't have a day to waste on moping around. It is what it is as they say. Each day is more precious and appreciated now more than ever. I want to be someone people still enjoy being around. I lost my brothers to cancer when they were 48 and 59 and they had poor physical quality of life from the day they were diagnosed were advanced cancers so I do feel like the lucky one at this point. Talk about genetics! We still laughed together right until the end sometimes hysterically as we reminisced and shared our Seinfeld-ish insights on life. I've already made it to 64 after first being diagnosed with cancer at 54. My family is like blackout cancer bingo with everyone getting a different kind. We will always find people better off and worse off than we are so I try to make peace with where I fall on the spectrum. Best to you on your journey and it really is a journey. We are each the captain of our own ship. It's up to us how we maneuver rough waters in search of beautiful rainbows, sunrises and sunsets.