Hi, @sharroncobb I'm Scott and I lost my wife after her long war with brain cancer. Your post made me think about my 'old self' before I lost my wife.

I realize everyone's grief journey is unique, but one thing that helped me was when I realized life would never be back the way it was, nor would I. Rather life was now just "different".

I still miss my wife deeply and wish she was still here with me, but also know reality has dealt me a different hand now. Another thing that helped me was to keep a "To Do" list and work to accomplish one item a day on it. Some were bigger (visit the new city our children had moved to) others were far smaller -- write to a friend of old, paint some of the wheelchair nicks in the house, call a friend. When I did one thing on my list, I made sure to add a new one to the bottom -- it gave me a way to keep looking forward and not just back at my loss.

As others have noted, your dad hasn't been gone that long so grieving is totally natural. Personally, I believe we grieve in direct proportion to how much we loved our now missing loved one. I also think it's important to give you "permission" to grieve. While I understand how many well-meaning folks in our lives want us to move on and just be happy, that takes time -- and the length of that time is very individualized.

I love this quote and keep it on my desk -- it helps me when the grief rears its head again: "Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that can only manage to whisper "I will try again tomorrow."

Strength, Courage, & Peace