Dear Dawnblair33,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. What a long and painful journey for the both of you. I get so frustrated with the health care system and I always was the advocate for my Mom. She was a nurse, so she was pretty knowledgeable but as she aged, I had to take charge and speak up. She too had breast cancer - but in her 60's. They did a lumpectomy, radiation and then she took temoxifan - a cancer 'pill' for about a year. She recovered from the cancer but then in her late 70's after my father passed, she got dementia. This is what she died from, at 89, 5 years ago.

The pain from losing a parent, especially a mother, never goes away. It gets a bit easier, or rather you get "used" to it as the months and years go by, but the ache remains in the heart. I have pictures everywhere and think about her every hour. I know she would not want me suffering and thinking about her so much, but at the same time it's difficult.

I hope you can find solace in knowing that she is no longer suffering and in pain? It also helps to speak with others who have lost a mother. I know many of my friends lost their mothers much earlier than I lost mine, so I am grateful I had her until she was almost 90.

I find going for walks, especially around trees, birds, nature, helps my mind settle down. I have had pets, cats and dogs, which too have helped with depression and loss.

One minute at a time, sometimes, dawnblair, that's all we have to get through. Try not to look to far ahead...just think of all those cherished moments and smile.

Wishing you better days and moments.

Marcie