@wyodiva22 I am a cervical spine surgery patient. There are a few things that stand out to me in your post.

I know going through major surgery is hard and requires patience. Doctors are usually focused on the functional aspect of their surgery and consider it successful if they have fixed something and restored some function or prevented further degeneration. That doesn't mean that for the patient, everything is perfect because surgery is always a compromise. It is emotional too because you grieve the loss of function from the way things used to be. Just getting to the point of needing back surgery is a journey in itself. Healing takes patience and being kind to yourself. There are things we experience as patients that we don't understand.

All surgery creates scar tissue, and if you had major back surgery, the surgical path may have created tightness that may affect how your GI tract can move. I know when I see my PT, and my hip flexors are too tight, she tells me that loosening up the tightness on the body wall near my pelvis can affect movement of stuff through the colon and get it moving again. Tight hip flexors are a common problem if people sit too much. My PT was doing myofascial release and it can help stretch out tight surgical scar tissue and improve body alignment and get the body moving again where it was stuck. Surgical scar tightness can connect to other patterns of fascial tightness in the body and exert a lot of pressure. Not all doctors are familiar with myofascial release therapy. Perhaps it can help.

Here is our discussion on Myofascial Release:

-Myofascial Release Therapy (MFR) for treating compression and pain: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/myofascial-release-therapy-mfr-for-treating-compression-and-pain/.

There is medical value in your doctor's comments about getting hormones in balance. That can be addressed with bioidentical hormones from a compounding pharmacy that are made from soy. Some women have changing emotions and anxiety because of changing hormones near menopause. The doctors who prescribe this are often the integrative medicine, functional medicine or environmental allergy doctors. I have experience with this. Hormone replacement helps me have less aches and pains and stops hot flashes. The important thing is that the estrogen must be balanced against progesterone. I also have some testosterone mixed into mine. You may be able to find a prescribing doctor by contacting a compounding pharmacy. They can do this as mail order, and they may be able to give you some doctor's names. The compounding pharmacy my physician uses is Rock Valley Compounding, and I'm sure there are many more.

One of the functions of the colon is to reabsorb water from the digestive tract. If you don't consume enough water, it can lead to constipation. Fiber from vegetables helps by holding onto water as it passes through the digestive tract keeping the contents softer. Adding psyllium such as (Metamucil) is an easy way to add soluble fiber if your diet doesn't have enough fiber. Make sure to drink a lot of water.

Many of us are our own worst critics. I know I have put on some weight because of an ankle fracture a few years ago that has limited my ability to exert myself while on my feet. I move slowly and carefully especially when my ankle is fatigued because I know that too much use is just too much, and I don't want to have to stay off my foot for a week with it hurting. With time and a few years, that is getting better. Hormone changes or low thyroid function can also cause weight gain. Don't be hard on yourself. It may help to talk to a counselor. Sometimes it seems that problems are huge, but that is from your own personal viewpoint (possibly influenced by unbalanced hormones) and getting another viewpoint of the situation may help you learn how you can make changes that can be beneficial. Others may not see you in the same way that you see yourself, and probably are focused on something else.

Have you considered physical therapy or perhaps myofascial release? You may search for a MFR therapist at http://mfrtherapists.com/