Hi Bon,

I am very sorry to hear about your panic attack. I feel for you, because I was in the same boat last year. I went to the ER 3 times, my blood pressure went to 200, and stayed at 200 for a few days. I had never had a high blood pressure problem in my life. My heart rate went to 120, but a heart checkup showed that my heart was fine. You see fear is a terrible emotion to have. Like you said, part of the reason to have fear is because of the unknown. But when we give some thought about the unknown, most of the things in life are unknown; we think we know, but in fact we don't. Seriously.
What we truly know is only the moment we have right here, right now. Acceptance also helped me to get over my fear. It is not a passive acceptance, but it is realistically informative, accepting the truth, accepting the change of my body. I am 71 years old. I was always active; going to the gym was part of my life routine for 30 years. The sudden change in my body was very hard for me even to understand, let alone to accept. There is a very elegant Chinese phrase I like very much: 顺其自然. It is my daily reminder. When translated into English, it sounds plain: "Let nature take its course."
I understand that in order to reach the point of being at ease, I have to know as much as I can about my condition. This support group has helped me so much. There are many kind and loving people here; they offered their experiences, and from their experiences I gained the knowledge, the comfort, the courage to manage my condition. I have bronchiectasis, and have had a year-long struggle with it. I have not tested for the MAC yet. I am thinking if I do have MAC, I probably won't take antibiotics based on what I learned from other people's experiences. There are so many inspiring people here in this group; from their spirit, I have learned to try not to let the condition control my life. Live the life I want, life is short, no more wasting time. I hope you will get over your fear soon.

Take care!
Ling