@healthybon First, I'm so sorry to hear that you're having severe panic attacks. I know from my own personal experience with anxiety and panic that it's a painful existence. I don't know what will help you. Everyone is so different. What has helped me over the years is exercise, meditation, journal writing, reading, talk therapy and, in recent years, medication prescribed by a good psychiatrist (not a doctor of other specialties!) to reduce anxiety. There are many things about our diagnoses that are decidedly unpleasant and/or scary, but they won't kill us. Once that reality becomes clear, your anxiety may subside and you may become more tolerant of temporary discomfort. Coming to this forum and hearing how other people deal with fears will help. You are not alone. I hope you find relief soon so you can enjoy the life you have.