@timbrownfl I am so terribly sorry for your wife’s experience. Surgery is no small thing, and should not be entered into lightly. I realize this is the surgeon’s job, and it’s just another day at work (for him) - but it’s not everyday for the patient. I had a double mastectomy at Mayo Rochester. They were amazing with me. My surgeon had to be changed at the last moment, due to the surgeon’s personal injury, and she talked to me from her home, while she was icing her injury! I’d just finished all my chemo, and I was unsteady enough from that trauma; yet, she took time to listen to my concerns about the change in surgeons, and spoke to me like a friend. Honestly. Transparently. I met with the new surgeon and her team, and they, too, treated me with such compassion, as they knew I was unsettled with the change. I had five surgeries in two years (took a detour with uterine cancer and a thyroid issue), so I understand a multiple surgery trajectory. It is not easy.

Your wife is no doubt exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Poor dear! I’d encourage you to help with the homework, and at least provide her with options for a second opinion. She may be too tired or even feel compromised in her decision-making ability by this point, and cannot tackle it on her own, or even in part. I’d encourage you both to seek out a second opinion.

And as to the nakedness in front of seven people? I am so sorry! Surely, this does not have to be part of her experience! As women on this journey, we can feel almost forced in the loss of our modesty, simply because of what we must travel through. But to be surrounded by professional staff that understands that vulnerability is paramount; essential, I’d add, in our ability to manage the frailty we have to endure in this whole experience.

If you are not receiving this vital component of compassion in your wife’s healthcare, you might consider making a change in providers.

I’m praying your wife heals well, regardless of the path you choose.