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Living with Brain Tumor or Serious Illness and Relationships
Brain Tumor | Last Active: Mar 26, 2023 | Replies (13)Comment receiving replies
It’s so tough because none of us really know what’s causing his change of personality but strokes definitely do that and he’s probably on a lot of crazy medication that’s changing his neurology and he’s probably severely uncomfortable and unhappy with the new brain he has. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I am in great pain and I am so cognizant of how I’m treating my partner but I don’t have the severe neurological issues your husband had or has. I’m not gonna go into my issues because this is your thread.
There are so many support groups out there for people who are caregivers and I think you should join them because you’re not gonna be able to change your husband. He said 70 years old and he needs to get in a support group as well and you can see if his behavior or actions are actually related to The neurological issues that he’s experienced or if he’s just severely depressed. They are very two different things. One he can kind of do something about the depression but if it’s the other one then you’re just gonna have to take care of yourself or put him in a care home. Or see if you have family who can help him part time because there’s enough research out there that when people go through brain transformations they really really really are not the same person. Now I know marriage is better or for worse or whatever that say it is but if you’re being treated in a way that doesn’t give you your best life that’s not fair either. I’m so sorry and I really hope the best for you and please join a support group . There’s so many other people dealing with what you’re dealing with. Caregivers really take the brunt of the abuse or the neglect when it comes to someone who is sick. You’re just supposed to smile and push through when you have your own life to live and have a person who’s 6 foot you have to put your brave face on for . What if you get sick? Who’s gonna take care of you. You have to be a little bit selfish and think about yourself in some of the situation. I’m not saying leave the guy I’m just saying find something that brings you joy find a support group find friends and family you can stay and visit with him put some distance between his grumpiness and your happiness
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Thank you so much for your kind comments! I am a writer so if I can get to my office for awhile everyday, it helps me connect with all the things I love, so I am making sure that I get that time every (most) morning/s.
And, I am getting pretty good at giving myself pep talks and staying in the moment, but I have been sick recently and it really hit me that if I became ill and was unable to maintain daily functions our life as we now live it, would be over. We would have to move to another state to be near family. We have lived in the same home for 35 years so moving at this time seems impossible with all the other life events we are dealing with.
And then there is the "age" card! I have always been a hard worker and was able to accomplish a lot in a short time. Now, I seem to barely manage feeding us and keeping the house livable. The thought of big tasks such as getting my spouse on an airplane, moving, buying a new house, all of it seems difficult. The thought of having my will done seems monumental but I know it needs to be done. Seems like everything needs doing at once, so I don't do anything! Anyway, thank you for being here. It is good to write about it; writing helps me clarify issues : ) and realize that I am not the only one in this fix.
Thank you for your response.
Athena