Hi Lois -
I will say that initially I was also a mess - so many thoughts swirling and then the "why me" turning into "why not me". I am 55. I am working on the "be positive, stay strong" messaging but also think its very important to feel all the feels, so to speak, and have some downs, as then we come out having addressed our feelings and anxieties without passing right over them. I will say that the fears and sadness do sit right in my throat if I let my mind go there - so I keep up with supportive friends and share news but also love when conversation turns to other things!!!!!

I had a lumpectomy and 2 sentinel nodes removed 1/25. While one node contained a "rare isolated tumor cell"? I am still considered Node negative. The tumor was slightly larger that previous thought from U/S scans and was 2.1 cm. That put me into Stage 2 what I call "physical" diagnosis but they said technically I am a Stage 1 in terms of prognosis. Unfortunately the margins weren't clear 1st lumpectomy so they did a re-excision 2 weeks later (I am now 3.5 weeks from re-excision) and now margins clear. ** In my opinion ** they indicated re-excision rates too low when we discussed, told me 10% prior to lumpectomy, but I have read upward of 60% and I believe it is in the hight range due to the nature of Lobular. If doing it again Id ask my surgeon, who I really like, to "take a generous approach" although I am she would have done what she had planned/per protocol.

I have received my Oncoscore of 22, higher than I had hoped, and they recommend radiation only. I am seeking a 2nd opinion in parallel but am proceeding forward with radiation plan and will start in a few weeks. I am less nervous about the radiation than I am about the side affects of the anti-estrogen meds (with Aromatase Inhibitors or Tamoxifen) that I will be on as many here are also on.

Physically I feel great right now - the underarm excision was probably the hardest. For the lumpectomy she went very near and around the nipple area to sort of blend it in (eventually) as my tumor was located about 2 cm away from nipple. I am hiking, exercising gently but doing lower body and the other arm 🙂 for my mental strength.

I have some anxiety and am researching a bit more about my oncoscore. I am going to do a new post on my questions about this - the actual "score" of my ER/PR+ and what that means.

Be well, get outside (if you can), and allow yourself to indulge in other topics and activities and passions. Keep me posted

-laurie