SMART Goals and Chronic Pain: What are your goals?

"The new normal" is a lot harder than I ever would have thought it would be. I struggle now with learning to accept and keep it real with myself. Of course, I never "really" believed I could be one of those people. And here I am. My weak social skill is in part being male and burdened by the macho male ego and training, also I did not have any real understanding of being human and having close friends and family. The examples we see or did not in my case. I am sure would have shown me more of what life is like as we change and age. I am sure it would have been helpful, and I would have been more compassionate for it. Another way where family is really important. The knowledge and love learned directly or indirectly and hopefully more positive than not, would have provided insight into aging gracefully and a big one for me feeling safe and comfortable with others and what they may be truly thinking about a person such as I am now. Sick, lame and lazy I am not just in pain and limited.

Hey what ever works, oh yea. I like your 5 P's Going to try and see if they can help me : } Thanks for posting them

Yes! @betterway I love your reply!! Listen to me when I tell you this. What you are going through is unique to you without a doubt but believe me when I say that you are not special in the sense that you are going through something no one else ever has. When I was at Mayo PRC Dr. Sletten looked right at the whole room of us and told us we were unique, but not special. He has seen it all! He didn't care who had what and why or how hard things have been. He cared about helping us move forward towards a better quality of life physically, emotionally and behaviorally.

The bottom line is that at the end of the day living with chronic pain and symptoms has the same end game for all of us. We either keep trying to do the best we can by persevering, learning and working, or we give up, sulk and become defeated. It's NOT easy, believe me I know, it's taken me 6 years of persevering, learning and working.

I'm proud of you for trying. One day at a time with one goal at a time. Finding self-esteem is a great place to start. You matter, you have worth and you CAN make changes. I believe in you!

@sueinmn Hi, Sue, what I like is that you recognized you push/crashed and weren't SMART. Paying the price with some down days first, but I know you'll get right back on that moderation wagon again.

I keep a daily planner to structure my days and hold myself accountable to moderate and pace. I literally schedule meals and rest breaks. I mess up too and push/crash, because I'm human, but then take a bright orange highlighter to my daily planner and highlight where I went wrong. Almost like, CAUTION!

The beauty is that we can always reset and restart and tell ourselves it's ok. Giving grace is often what we do for others, but not always so much for ourselves.

I like "hire out"! If you can afford it, I say do it. It's all about choosing our battles, right?

@betterway I'm a keep it real kind of person too. I hope you don't mind me keeping it real with you.

In what ways do you think you can help yourself get out of your own pity party? In what ways do you think you can evolve and grow as a person to overcome your emotional and social obstacles?

Here is info about CBT if you have not yet explored it:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognitive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384610

I am coming to love "hire out". Our gift this year , in lieu of things, to our daughter and her family is biweekly house cleaning. They are grateful.

Today, with the littles, I had them do as much food prep, helping and cleaning as we could. And after lunch, everyone rested, either napping or having quiet time. What a lovely day - no meltdowns until supper!

For the first time, we have hired out remodeling, exterior house washing and tree trimming. We feel like it is worth stretching our budget to afford it.

Tomorrow we will relax by doing low key hanging out with friends. Sunday we will rest, and dine out with my brother and sister-in-law instead of entertaining here, so no cleaning or cooking.

Sometimes, I think resetting our personal expectations is great all around, as we begin to accept others as well.
Sue

Thank you! I have not heard of SMART goals before & find this info very helpful for daily life.

I've had Fibromyalgia for approx 35 + years now. I'm now 65 and still learning to live with this ever changing, up, down, in, out, incurable, but often manageable disease!
The new symptoms heaped upon the remaining old ones can be overwhelming at times, too many to list, but sounds like most on this thread understand that.
I take the max ammt of Pregabalin that has helped ease pain, Tylenol as needed (cannot take NSAIDs due to gut issues), a CBD rub, Thyroid Rx, an Rx plus Bergamot for high blood pressure related to pain, and supplements/essential oils I have learned that help ease multiple symptoms.

I also have had to learn not to push beyond what my body is asking if me. On severe pain or multiple issue days I need to practice being gentle, and have learned when I can push just a bit more. How hard is this for us who are Fixers, Planners, Doers, Leaders!
But all in all... Life is good! I am thankful for all I have gone through and that I can use Life's lessons to help & encourage others.

I am unable to stand erect due to the pain when I try to. Until this pain is gone, this will be the way I am. I have given up the cane in my house as well as the rollator, thinking this was keeping me from standing straight. I thought I was relying on them too much. It's been 3 weeks now and it hasn't helped me one bit. I still have to bend over to alleviate the pain. I had my back rebuilt nearly 2 yrs ago. Didn't help at all. It is all due to this horrible pain when I try to stand erect. My back surgeon has no answer other than physical therapy, which I can't do because of the pain. I try to do exercises for the back & again, the pain is just too horrible altho I keep trying. I have no pain as long as I am sitting or laying in bed. I am thankful for that. I tell myself "it could be worse".

I wonder what has been done too your back have you had any epidural? Do Mri s show what might be wrong
A nuclear bone test shows where problems are, according to my neurologist.

Rachel, these are great ideas but just in my own opinion there should be counseling prior to surgery letting the patient know what to expect following surgery. Forums are great but one problem is that those who have great outcomes usually leave forums never to be seen until something else goes bad. The medical community has failed a lot of patients especially when the outcomes weren’t good. Resources aren’t available to a lot of chronic pain patients. Your MDs have their hands tied . Secondly no one should ever want to go down the opioid road. On those pain break through pain days there’s no where to turn. I would advise anyone facing spinal surgery to get counseling as well as being informed of the procedure. That’s why forums like this are invaluable.