@ab6540183
Alfred, play a game with yourself.

Start by measuring your blood pressure and write down your numbers. Then put on your headphones and listen to music you LOVE, while you are looking at pictures of your dear grandchildren. Do this for about an hour while you breathe deeply and slowly in time to the music, and keep your mind focused on the children. If your mind wanders, just circle back to the kids. After the hour, measure your blood pressure again and write it down on a chart.

You may do this any time you feel anxious. The more you do this, the better! In time, you will see that you have learned to lower your blood pressure. This was my game when I was anxious, and I could do this in my mind anytime. Believe me it helps! You will learn to gain some control of your situation this way. Try it and let me know if you have success. Don't let your blood pressure stay high and increase your risk of heart disease and stroke when you can do something about it?

Are you on blood pressure medication?

I’ve been reading your story and sorry to read the amount of pain you must be in from your numerous health issues. I was surprised you are only taking 2 narcotic (presumed) pain pills in 24 hours to help you sleep. That is an insufficient quantity of pain medications from what your describe. I would expect at least 1 tab every 6 hours for pain, but not only 2. You said you receive psychotherapy remotely and not often enough. Are you doing meditation? I learned mindfulness meditation and it does wonders for helping me cope with pain. I like using it when I’m trying to get to sleep. I hope you find some relief.