I feel your frustration. While I don't have an answer for you, I wonder how skilled your audiologist is at programming those high quality Oticon hearing aids? Did you have real ear measurement (REM) done? The newer digital hearing aids are complex. Here's a Dr. Cliff video about REM. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMSQemYlC80

Fine tuning these devices is difficult. It really seems that the pros, the audiologists who have doctorate level degrees, should be willing and able to work with their clients to get the absolute best possible programming.

When I reached the point with my hearing aids that you describe, I decided to see if I qualified for a cochlear implant. I did, and I went for it. Only regret is not doing it sooner as it's been a huge boost to me.