Dear Lois, After my lumpectomy, I was referred to a radiation oncologist. He said, given my surgical results and scans, that he would not recommend radiation, that it would not add a day of extra time to my lifespan. Whew. Very reassuring. My oncologist and surgeon did not recommend chemo as I already had an auto-immune condition (Psoriasis). ( Before the surgery, they also did not recommend a mastectomy. ) A third alternative was immunotherapy, the path I chose. I now take one tablet at 1 mg dose of Arimidex ( Anastrozole) per day. I'm halfway through the 5 year treatment plan and so far, so good. Side effects are hot flushes and some grogginess when I wake up; I don't drive a car until the grogginess goes away. I can't drink wine or other alcohol. For hot flushes, 3 of my doctors recommended Venflaxaline, but it made me nauseous so I quit. Nearly 3 years later, the hot flush intensity has faded.
You should share with the closest members of your family what you are feeling. They really want to know and help. Do not shut them out. That will just make them feel more helpless, guilty, etc. You WILL feel scared, and the first time that happens, you will feel scared that you feel so scared. This will pass. Think of this fear as a wave coming toward you. Just ride the wave rather than resisting it. I found it helpful to immediately start an ordinary task, like unloading the dishwasher or sweeping the floor. The very ordinariness of our (my) daily lives and tasks seems to "reset" the brain.
Keep in touch. --Nancy