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@merpreb

Hello Bonnie- Thank you for saying this. I still sound like a commando sometimes when I need him to do something. I am not a patient person. I have to bite my lips to help me slow down so I don't put pressure on him too much. I am also complimenting him and I also apologize if I screw up.

Today was one of those days! Dave couldn't find his keys- I can't get him to settle down when I want to organize all of his important things long enough to make a decision as to where to put his "box" of things. I'm on prednisone right now so it's more difficult to hold my tongue. So, I got into "it" a bit with Dave. In the end, he answered me with a little boy's "no!"

Well, I lost it and began to laugh uncontrollably. Now mind you, I am usually a very loud laugher but it seems that when I laugh at something that Dave says or does (now)- at the ridiculousness, my laugh is a more mature type of laugh, not at all hysterical. But I couldn't stop laughing but I had to run into the bathroom. which I didn't make. Then one of my thighs cramped up and I couldn't sit down! And then I laughed even harder. And then I cleaned the bathroom! lol

He was upset, and I know he was and I would have been too but some things are just so ridiculous when they happen. If he hadn't had vascular Dementia he would have been howling. Laughter is such a great outlet that I don't want to lose it between us. I immediately explained what it was all about and he thanked me for that.

I hope that this doesn't upset anyone, this silly tale of mine about laughter. I take Vascular Dementia, any type of neurological disease very seriously. But right now, before things get too bad I can't help myself. I think that it is a tension valve.

Does any one else experience this?

We still have the capacity to laugh together and I love that. He'll joke too. I love those times.

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Replies to "Hello Bonnie- Thank you for saying this. I still sound like a commando sometimes when I..."

Well Merry, at least you got your bathroom cleaned. You’re ahead of me, & you got a good laugh too. We steal the little moments now. A helpful comment I read from many people on my two caregiver sites is, Don’t beat yourself up about it.” I really appreciate that advice & am learning to take it to heart. We are doing a very difficult job for which we had little to no training & it won’t end until the men we love leave us forever. So I say, “Let’s cut ourselves some slack,” at least today, to be our own valentines!

Yes, Will and I learned years ago to laugh at things that before were so dramatic. He jokes more than I do and sometimes he is just plain silly, and I call him “my silly guy” - all in fun. Recently He seems to know when I need time to settle down, as we are moving and packing and my frustration level gets very low! He tells me to stop and start again tomorrow. He used to be a workaholic and made sure I was too, and stop was not in his vocabulary. He has slowed down considerably and is no longer driven to constantly work, and I benefit from this change. I can tell Dementia has played a big part in this change because it takes longer for him to figure out how to do something. What used to take 10 minutes now takes half an hour. I’m trying to be more patient with him and remind myself he is sick and doing the best that he can. Now I am becoming the workaholic! Now that’s funny!!