@candybeason45 And if you told me this was not a big deal and you weren't scared at all - I'd wonder if that was true.

Truly this must be so shocking to hear from your doctor. You go to the doctor to address the hip pain. Chronic pain is so awful so it must have been encouraging to work with a doctor who addresses the problem. And now there's more that you had no idea was even there.

Being frightened in this situation is awful and at the same time seems like the emotion that would happen under these circumstances. What I'm trying to say is that being scared and anxious is a normal way for any of us to react. It's not a normal situation and it's also, for the present, ambiguous. You wrote that the surgeon will begin with a partial hysterectomy. My guess is that whatever tissue the surgeon removes will be quickly sent to pathology where they will examine it and get back to the surgeon quickly. At that point, the surgeon can decide if anything more needs to be done such a full hysterectomy. Does this sound about right. All the while you will be asleep and don't know what you'll wake up to.

When I had a hysterectomy after I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer I did know that my uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tube and cervix would all be removed. What I didn't know was whether the cancer was found outside my uterus. I found that out when I woke up in recovery. I let myself think about it and also decided to trust my surgeon and her team. This was not easy to do but I just kept reminding myself.

What did I do in the meantime? I took long walks (it was summer) and looked around me for what I was grateful for.

What do you like to do? Do you like warm baths? Going for walks? Cooking? Listening to music? I cleaned my house like crazy figuring I wouldn't be up to it after I got back home. There was something soothing about getting my house clean and ready for my return as if I was going on some exotic trip somewhere. Cleaning occupied my mind and body.

What are your thoughts telling you?