You’re very welcome, we are all here for you and happy to listen to any rant, complaint, or question😊
Some other ideas- anything you can do to provide structure will help. I bought a larger-size calendar and wrote in whatever in the boxes, used highlighters to mark MD visits (yellow), tradespeople coming (green), my schedule (blue),etc. I bought a calendar clock on Amazon that has the day of the week, the date, the time, the part of the day (morning, afternoon, evening). When my husband would ask a schedule question, I wouldn’t answer the question, but instead direct him cheerfully to the calendar. It didn’t take long for him to see the calendar as an important resource that he could regularly check on his own, a bit of dignity and independence. If something was important, “be home for the plumber”, I would tape a stickie over the doorknob he would have to use to leave and also stick one on the fridge door handle at eye level.
Possibly what to expect- my husband lost the ability to use a cell phone, so I bought a picture landline phone from Amazon that has little clear pockets you put the photos or written names of people he would call (you, family, etc), you program the phone so he just presses the photo or name and it dials automatically.
Another idea- I started buying Healthy Choice Cafe Steamers frozen meals when I would be working and when putting together a sandwich himself got too much (I noticed he started eating easy stuff- crackers, cereal, chips). I would tape index cards on the boxes with the cooking time written with a Sharpie. That worked for a long time.
See what you can do to make YOUR life less stressful- I hired a house cleaner who is willing to also do laundry, remake beds, etc. I used Next Door to find a handyman for small household repairs (my husband always did these and still wanted to, but just couldn’t). I primarily shop for groceries online and use the curbside pick-up. I have a Walmart + account, you order online and they deliver for free, it’s $98/year. I switched prescriptions to Rite-Aid, they do free delivery. My husband is home during the day and is fine with receiving deliveries, all this saves me actually having to go in the stores and shop- a big time-saver.
Thank you for all of your helpful suggestions. I bought the Alzheimer’s clock today showing the day and date and the large calendars for his doctor or test dates and use a yellow highlighter. Next will be ordering groceries online and pick up or have delivered. A housekeeper for the kitchen and bathroom sounds great. I need the time to take care of myself and spend time with my husband going to senior activities and enjoying ourselves. I am trying to think differently when I am feeling annoyed at him. I say to myself “he is sick and he is doing the best he can” and trying not to correct him (just suggest) and not argue because of the tension these remarks create. Thank you again for your advice!