← Return to Husband With Slow Cognitive Decline: So sad & confused

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My husband was referred for neuropsych testing in 2014, which resulted in a diagnosis of MCI. He slowly declined over the years, then had a significant precipitous decline, was re-tested and having the tests from 8 years ago as a baseline was really helpful to his PCP and neurologist, he is now diagnosed with vascular dementia with Alzheimer’s features.
Last March, I could no longer manage him at home as he was completely uncooperative with me around his diabetes care- crashed and was in the hospital for 2 weeks before they got him stabilized. He is in an assistive living now and accepts the staff care, but he doesn’t like to shower or change clothes, sleeps in his clothes, including shoes.At home, he would stay up very late on the computer, he still sleeps late and sleeps a lot. His short term memory is very poor- at home he would walk away from turned-on faucets, leave the fridge door open. I taped up reminder signs around the house but I don’t think he really understood their meaning. The watershed moment was when he left the house at night, a neighbor brought him home. It’s hard to accept that point when your spouse is no longer doing well at home- I felt like the frog in the boiling water, everyone has a wonderful story of they or someone they know caring for an elder in”their own home because I would never put them in a place”, well- he is at his most healthiest now than he’s been in a long time with the structure and social opportunities at the assistive living.
One suggestion- I bought a great clock on Amazon- has the date, time, and “area” of the day (“morning, afternoon, evening”), he refers to it often, seems to keep him oriented.
Best of luck to you, it’s a surprising diagnosis and a long road ahead.

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Replies to "My husband was referred for neuropsych testing in 2014, which resulted in a diagnosis of MCI...."

Hi - I appreciate your response. I'm sorry for all you've gone through, it sounds difficult to say the least. I usually call all of it "soul crushing" because that's what it feels like to me. My husband's cognitive decline is moving slowly but there's no doubt it's happening. This afternoon we met with our financial advisor for a usual periodic meeting and when my husband went to use the restroom, our advisor said, "Wow, he'd doing great - I'd never know he has a problem!" Right now he's in the other room having a conversation with my daughter about her car. It's a perfectly coherent conversation but he's forgotten that he already discussed this with her. This is what I mean by our normal/not normal life. I think you are right, I should schedule the neuropsych test. I guess I'm afraid of what they might see. I also think if it's a difficult diagnosis, it will change him drastically. And here's a HUGE fear of mine; What if they say he shouldn't be driving anymore? They can do that, can't they? Right now he drives fine and if that is taken away, I'll never forgive myself. The minute I start to question his driving I would immediately insist he no longer do it but I don't want that taken away from him, from us, until it makes sense to do so. Safety-wise, he probably drives better than I do. Thank you again, Jean

I went through all this with my husband who had Parkinson's dementia. It was really hard. He died very unexpectedly at the age of 80.