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Depression and cancer diagnosis: Today is a rough day
Cancer: Managing Symptoms | Last Active: Feb 18, 2023 | Replies (31)Comment receiving replies
I'm not sure why I'm here. I guess I try to take solace in the fact I'm not alone, even though I often feel very much so. Do you think these feelings come from your tbi? How did you feel before? I know you seemed to live life to its fullest but how did you feel about death before? I'm terrified of dying and I can't imagine wanting death more than wanting to live. I'm fairly positive you won't see this but in the rare chance you do, I hope you're well. Sincerely.
Replies to "I'm not sure why I'm here. I guess I try to take solace in the fact..."
Hello @kikibann32, it’s been several weeks since wrote to us on Mayo Connect. I’m wondering how you’re feeling today. You sounded so alone with your first posting. I just wanted you to know that there are so many of us here in Mayo Connect willing to open up to you and help you in anyway that we can…whether it’s to listen or offer encouragement.
Are you in a treatment program for cancer?
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Hi @kikibann32 I’d like to welcome you to Mayo Clinic Connect. I know you wrote in reply to @mrbrown9 but I’m not sure if he’s still active in the forum. It appears his first comment was the only time he’s written.
The visceral impact of a cancer diagnosis is something no one can fully understand until it happens to them. We immediately tend to turn to the prospect of death. I’ve been there.
I wasn’t actually afraid of dying. I was so near death when I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia that I was actually ready to cross over that rainbow bridge or whatever happens to us. It was incredibly peaceful and I had no fear whatsoever.
But what I was scared of beforehand was leaving behind my family, friends, things I loved…my life! I was scared to run out of time.
However, better living through chemistry and science, I am still here 4 years later, living my best life. I no longer fear death. I stared death in the face and defied it and now I have a sense of power at having beaten the odds. Every day is a gift and I don’t waste a moment.
I went through many rounds of powerful chemo and also had a bone marrow transplant. All the things we fear most when we worry about ever getting cancer. Well, they are a necessary means to an end of cancer in our bodies and nothing to fear. We perserver one day at a time.
Going through the treatments, I was very pragmatic. If I didn’t make it through, then I knew I gave it my best shot. I’d had a great life which, before that time, I took for granted.
I also feel like I’m spared for a reason and that’s why I’m on this forum as a mentor, to help instill a sense of hope in others. It’s so important to stay positive, keep a sense of humor and enjoy every day we are not pushing daisies up from the underside.
You are new to the forum so I don’t know much about you except that you’re writing in the cancer group and feeling pretty alone and frightened. I want you to know you’re not alone here. You’ve just gained a new family.
We have so many cancer groups and I’d like to make sure you’re able to Connect with other members along your same journey. May I ask what kind of cancer you have and where you are in your treatments?