1. < Prostate Cancer

My Dad has prostate cancer & is hospitalized with broken femur

Posted by craigshelton @craigshelton, Jan 26, 2023

I live in another state from my Dad who has had prostate cancer for over 5 years now. About 6 months ago I remember him complaining to me on the phone about how much pain his leg was giving him .I told him to try ice packs & warm compressions not realizing that it has spread to his leg . He fell last week and broke his femur bone . I just finished talking with him but he could barely talk from holding his breath trying to fight the pain .I could hear the nurses checking his blood pressure and giving him his insulin shot that had hurt him . My dad's not a baby and far from it but he is in serious pain .Had no idea about prostate cancer spreading to the bones until just now reading about it . I am wondering what's next for him his wife keeps me in the dark . I am feeling very bad for him and I'm scared at the same time . Just needing to know what to expect now . Any info will be greatly appreciated and I don't want anything sugar coated ,I am 49 yes old I just need straight up help understanding ? Thank you very much if you can help me ???

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web265 | @web265 | Jan 27, 2023

Lot to unpack here....

It sounds like are father's were similar, I didn't know my father had it in his 60's till he told me when in his 80's. I guess they don't like to worry us!

First of all, do you know that it has spread to his legs or are you making that assumption? How bad was the fall etc.. What I'm getting at here is although it may be related, it may not be the primary cause.

One of the things we (PCa patients) have to be concerned about is that some of the medication that we take may cause things like loss of bone density, Someone in their 70's, (guess as a min based on your age) is likely to have some natural loss, then adding the meds a lot of us take may make it a little worse. Also, a femur break, the largest bone in the body, has to be very extremely painful in and of itself.

Having said all that, yes, when it does spread it may often spread to the bones. Although I've mostly heard that it goes to the ribs, spine and hip areas. (again just from reading other's experience in this forum) This is why we often get bone scans when diagnosed, at least I know I did, this was to make sure it hadn't spread. Luckily mine hadn't yet. Folks on here that have had this happen seem to get those "hot spots" radiated when they are found. There are also some drugs that are taken to help the minimize spread and even shrink the cancer.

What's next for him potentially varies greatly depending on a wide range of variables. How advanced was it when diagnosed, what was/is the treatment regimen, etc. etc.. Without knowing a history of his disease, it'd almost be impossible to guess. Add to that, we are mostly patients sharing experiences as opposed to medical folks.

As a piece of free advice, I would think that for you to get any answers you might have to make arrangements to go see your father and try to have a frank discussion with him. Maybe try to get on the list to be in his medical information loop.

Best of luck to both you and your father!

REPLY
1 reply
melcanada | @melcanada | Jan 27, 2023

I am on Zolodex injections and now Xtandi or Enzalutamide as it metastasized to my L2 lumbar left hip and T11 bones. I had L2 radiated a year ago but coming back. hence Xtandi

I have tiredness only I feel positive even though med oncologist said Enza may only last 18 months I have my BP pill then Oatmeal then sake easy to swallow Enzalutamide 4 pills $33.75 CDN each OHIP paid along with a D3 dissolvable

I have green tea with breakfast and throughout the day Soothing I am anxious in the evening though Any thoughts. A tad depressed thinking what's after 18 months?

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Jan 29, 2023

@craigshelton, I'm tagging you to make sure you see the helpful posts from @web265 and @melcanada.

I agree with @web265. You dad may have easily broken his femur due to the cancer spreading to his bones or because of weakening bone health due to cancer treatments.

Here's a good article about spread to the bones:
- What Happens When Prostate Cancer Spreads to the Bones? https://www.healthline.com/health/prostate-cancer-prognosis-life-expectancy-bone-metastases

I'm also sensing that you may be beating yourself up because you told your dad to use ice and heat to soothe his pain. You were giving him the best advice based on the knowledge that you had at the time. You obviously care very much for your father. It sounds like you need more information about his current status and diagnosis, not only to support him, but also to prepare for what to expect. Would it be possible for your father to give you permission to see his notes and medical reports? Does he have a patient portal? Can you be videoed into his doctor's appointments?

REPLY
1 reply
craigshelton | @craigshelton | Feb 4, 2023
In reply to @web265 "Lot to unpack here.... It sounds like are father's were similar, I didn't know my father..." + (show)
@web265

Lot to unpack here....

It sounds like are father's were similar, I didn't know my father had it in his 60's till he told me when in his 80's. I guess they don't like to worry us!

First of all, do you know that it has spread to his legs or are you making that assumption? How bad was the fall etc.. What I'm getting at here is although it may be related, it may not be the primary cause.

One of the things we (PCa patients) have to be concerned about is that some of the medication that we take may cause things like loss of bone density, Someone in their 70's, (guess as a min based on your age) is likely to have some natural loss, then adding the meds a lot of us take may make it a little worse. Also, a femur break, the largest bone in the body, has to be very extremely painful in and of itself.

Having said all that, yes, when it does spread it may often spread to the bones. Although I've mostly heard that it goes to the ribs, spine and hip areas. (again just from reading other's experience in this forum) This is why we often get bone scans when diagnosed, at least I know I did, this was to make sure it hadn't spread. Luckily mine hadn't yet. Folks on here that have had this happen seem to get those "hot spots" radiated when they are found. There are also some drugs that are taken to help the minimize spread and even shrink the cancer.

What's next for him potentially varies greatly depending on a wide range of variables. How advanced was it when diagnosed, what was/is the treatment regimen, etc. etc.. Without knowing a history of his disease, it'd almost be impossible to guess. Add to that, we are mostly patients sharing experiences as opposed to medical folks.

As a piece of free advice, I would think that for you to get any answers you might have to make arrangements to go see your father and try to have a frank discussion with him. Maybe try to get on the list to be in his medical information loop.

Best of luck to both you and your father!

Jump to this post

Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. I'm going to see him tomorrow and will know a lot more. He's out of the hospital and in the rehabilitation center now, so tomorrow I will hopefully know more, but he's very confused and his wife doesn't like me and tries to keep us apart and me away as best as she can so that's the hardest part and why I can't get any information. But hopefully through the weekend that will change and I can come home with a piece of mind. Any help is greatly appreciated as I'm still lost with this disease. I wish the best for you.

REPLY
craigshelton | @craigshelton | Feb 4, 2023
In reply to @colleenyoung "@craigshelton, I'm tagging you to make sure you see the helpful posts from @web265 and @melcanada...." + (show)
@colleenyoung

@craigshelton, I'm tagging you to make sure you see the helpful posts from @web265 and @melcanada.

I agree with @web265. You dad may have easily broken his femur due to the cancer spreading to his bones or because of weakening bone health due to cancer treatments.

Here's a good article about spread to the bones:
- What Happens When Prostate Cancer Spreads to the Bones? https://www.healthline.com/health/prostate-cancer-prognosis-life-expectancy-bone-metastases

I'm also sensing that you may be beating yourself up because you told your dad to use ice and heat to soothe his pain. You were giving him the best advice based on the knowledge that you had at the time. You obviously care very much for your father. It sounds like you need more information about his current status and diagnosis, not only to support him, but also to prepare for what to expect. Would it be possible for your father to give you permission to see his notes and medical reports? Does he have a patient portal? Can you be videoed into his doctor's appointments?

Jump to this post

Thank you @colleenyoung ,I live in a different state but only about 3 hrs away . I did have to ask him directly if the prostate cancer had spread into his bones I reminded him about how bad he was complaining about his hip and leg we're waking him up out of his sleep and a lot of pain. I remember him complaining about that I'd say 8 months ago but when I asked him about it spreading the possibly the reason it broke his femur bone ? The only thing he said was he didn't know when asking if it's spread I don't know I'm not sure. So that's when I decided to back off the conversation and talk about something else cuz I need to know he was confused or didn't want me to know I had no idea that his wife was sitting right there next to him listening to our conversation. She text me the next day that I ought to be ashamed of myself for asking him the question like that but when I asked her before this she told me no is not spread which I don't believe her because he wouldn't be sitting where he's at right now. She also said to me that she did not want me coming there and if I wanted to see him to let her know that he'd be at the rehabilitation center then when they release him she has hospice lined up for at home to handle the rest 🥺 She is being very selfish & controlling . I just don't want to upset my DAD. I'm going to pack up and hit the road to go see him today . Hopefully everything will go smoothly as possible. Thank you and I will keep you posted.

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