My mom has the same aversion to showering, brushing teeth, changing clothes.
I did buy the same Clothing for her so she had the same clothes every day but they were clean to compensate for the lack of showers.
I also use the adult wash clothes..but heat them in the microwave for 15 seconds. Takes the edge off the cold.
It is exhausting…I have four hour breaks three days a week when a caregiver comes. Mom won’t let the caregiver shower her but she does engage in conversation. It is a great relief to have the respite care. It refreshes me and helps me find the courage to face another another day.
I hope this helps a bit
Someone gave me a baby wipes warmer so those wipes are always warm and ready.
Also, one of the most freeing things I read was, “Nobody dies from not taking a shower “. So I bathe what he will let me, when he will let me. His doctor prescribed a very low dose of Ativan which helps. He is still resistant to changing or bathing but doesn’t get so angry.