hi pegimac, i truly feel for you. i understand your negativity. i'm not doing any radiation or anything right now. i just had to write to let you know. so far i can breathe, eat, swallow. thing is i just seen the general surgeon who says he won't do my thyroidectomy because he feels the cancer has reached my vocal chords. so he has said he will arrange for me to see a specialist but i have to drive further away. so who knows what will be next for me. i do know that there will be a lot of things i won't consider. things is, when your going through stuff like you are going through, who knows how you will feel as far as trying to survive. its hard.. i have been mashing up alot of my food with the food processor, i have to watch the dry foods. i wake up about every hr. on the hr. have to get something to drink as i have these coughing spells. always feel so tired. can you find another dr. who does not shrug! i don't like shrugs! should not be. wishing you the best this evening. you will be in my prayers.