Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. It helped a lot. Yes, I was thinking the end was near. I have been beside myself with anticipatory grief, just waiting for the shoe to drop. My mom did have gene sequencing done and has no mutations. Apparently, the one drug that can help her (irinotecan) is the one drug she cannot have (she has something called Gilbert's Syndrome which cannot break down the irinotecan -she almost died of toxicity the first time around). She has been on Gemzar and something else (the name is escaping me) with no results in shrinking the tumor, but it hasn't grown or spread either. The surgeon was pretty blase and basically said that there are cancer cells in my mom that we can't see from a PET or CT. How does she know? Experience, I guess. I don't know why they won't remove the mets to the ovary, but I do understand not wanting to do the bladder resection based on the extensiveness of the surgery, given that they cannot guarantee this would give her a cure, and her only having one kidney. I think they might try radiation next, and I am really hoping they have success with this. My mom's attitude has been stellar. She said she's at peace with whatever happens. I, however, am a mess. I can't eat, work is really hard and so is sleep. I wake up in total panic over losing my mom. I hope someday I can find the peace my mom has. In the meantime, I will take the info you have shared to her and hopefully this will motivate her to get a second opinion. Again, thank you so much for reaching out. I was feeling pretty desperate, and your response did help me greatly.