Hi @bucksnort. I am sorry to read of your husband's urinary incontinence. In May of 2019, I had a radical proctectomy, and I was never able to regain my control. In consultation with my surgeon and radiation oncologist (both at Mayo), I had an artificial urinary sphincter implanted (AMS800). After six weeks or so of healing, the device was activated and it far exceeded my expectations. It is truly life changing. I highly recommend the procedure. My issue was incontinence during the day after my surgery with nighttime not being as bad, so please take my experience with a grain of salt, since your husband's issue may be different than mine.
I wish you and your husband all the best.