@thisismarilynb You're absolutely correct, there is no way to forecast what we might need in the future. Good for you for thinking about it now, when you have less pressure to make decisions. Looking at all your options, writing down the pros and cons if you need to, may help make things even clearer.

Do you have access to a senior services office that might help you with critical questions you have?
Ginger

Marilyn, my Mom was able to choose a residence with a "continuum of care" from independent to minimal assistance to full assistance. They had a related full care skilled nursing home, but she never needed that. We were able to add services as she needed (she wouldn't live with either my sister or me.) It was the best solution for our family. She started in a 2br apartment, and when she no longer cooked or did her own laundry, moved to a 1br. (This was after she and my Dad gradually downsized from 2story to 1story to an accessible mobile home, shedding stuff at every step. ) My in-laws stayed in their own home until they each needed skilled care - 7 years apart. There is a different path for each of us.
Sue

This is Bela. I can identify with you, Marilyn! We’re similar in age, and both widows in a long marriage.
I am 85 years of age and my dear husband died eight years ago from an accident in elective surgery. I was devastated for three years. After having been happily married for 51 1/2 years, I decided that living alone in a rambling house was not my cup of tea. I now live in a coop that I own with 100 other resident unit owners, and I have downsized from owning a big house to a two bedroom two bath 1000 sq. foot dwelling. I gave away anything that did not bring me joy, or did not fit into my new space. As you already mentioned, we cannot predict our health conditions over time. But what I can say is that I enjoy my smaller space, and it’s river view, and if the time comes that I need assistance, my plan is to have a caretaker sleep in the other bedroom, and finally make use of my long-term care for payment. That’s the plan for my future health care. That’s the best plan that I can come up with at this time. Our future health is a big question mark, so we can only plan up to a point.
I would go by your instincts, and not move to an assisted living space if your heart is not happy with that choice.

You certainly brought up some eye opening points about assistant living lifestyle. While volunteering in Florida working at a shelter assisting the Hurricane Ian survivors my husband and I did crisis management and many of the older people straight out refused to consider Assistant Living.

At first we were confused why they turned down what seemed to be the idea option but after finding out how assistant living worked we understood.

It’s a very expensive option and similar to nursing home arrangements. Basically, all your money goes to the faculty with a small amount allocated to you.

Those who turned down the offer stated they can find an apartment cheaper and still budget to live within their income. Lastly, they wanted to live their lives independently as best they could and as long as their health allowed.

That experience certainly gave us more to reflect on as we age regarding our co-dependent care. Hopefully, our children will be able to help.

Thanks for sharing and wishing you a healthier New Year.