good evening nervelady-70,
sounds like your pain is severe and you are not getting relief from the gabapentin prescribed by your doctor. I am so sorry to hear that. I have been using gabapentin for about 1 1/2 years for severe CIDP. In the beginning the medication gave a little relief and I was noticing that I did not take the medication every 8 hours and if I missed a dose I could never catch up and get the pain under control. So what I did was take a dose at 5am, 1pm and a large dose at 9pm. usually prior to when the next dose is due I am just starting to feel a bit of discomfort. My doses have been adjusted several times but if I truly make an effort to take the pills on time I find I can tolerate the small amount of pain I have.
You mentioned that your pain was so bad that you once contemplated suicide, PLEASE talk with your doctor and tell them your thoughts, feeling and perhaps consider getting a second or third opinion. Have you ever asked you doctor to refer you to a counselor. Please let us know how you are and if you have any of your medications changed and if your pain improves. I hope things get better for you.
Kim