This was done at a Laclede Groves senior living/nursing facility. Mom had been released from the hospital to go there for skilled nursing care and Dad, who had the power of attorney made the decision to have her go directly to "comfort care" to be deprived of food and water, and they said they would sedate her so that she wouldn't be anxious and morphined her so that she wouldn't be in pain. Ha. She wasn't anxious at the hospital. Yes she was completely aware at the hospital but not once they moved her and sedated her, although she couldn't respond, she still could hear. Like being trapped. She was not in pain--not until the morphine started doing its duty shutting down her kidneys and heart causing fever and labored breathing. This is a farce. They documented falsely. Even said her death was "natural." Mom was put in a shared room with an elderly lady that was on the memory care ward and not being euthanized...I couldn't believe they would do that do her to have to be in the same room. Dad was "done" and couldn't deal with mom anymore and I believe he was convinced/deceived that he was doing the right and compassionate thing...this is crazy! It is even more crazy that in a state where euthanasia is illegal, this is under the wire okay because of Dad's durable power and able to make decisions for her. Comfort care like this is euthanasia and yet I cannot understand how terming it "comfort care" takes away from the fact that 1) there is no comfort, and 2) it is definitely euthanasia.

Thanks for responding. I am sorry that I am not an attorney, so I cannot do anything for you directly. I can only say if I felt as strongly as you do, I would bring suit against the Laclede Groves institution et al for the sake of my Mother. Regardless of your Father's wishes, they cannot commit a crime. Based upon the details that you are giving here, they should be brought to justice. Whether or not your Father was aware of the illegality of his request does not matter. Doctors and nurses are fully aware of the law regarding their practices. A person/nurse/doctor/ administration cannot kill another and call it legal. As a daughter it sounds like you objected, but the Institution ignored you and/ or other family members?
Just do what you believe in your heart is right. So speak to the right kind of attorney and get his/her opinion of this event surrounding your Mother's death, regardless of cost. I wish you success.

Thank you so much for understanding. Yes, I openely objected and backed up the pallative care doctor who also objected, but Dad had the legal right to make decisions for my mother. The doctor suggested that I try to declare my Dad incompetent, but he also said that my sister was backing up my father's decision and I would have to take her to court and we didn't have that kind of time before mom would die. I have not been able to get anywhere with the prosecuting attorney's office as the Webster Groves police will not write a report required to pursue. I have told elderly abuse which got there too late but looked at records and did not see anything in documents that were suspicious. Mom was cremated so there is no evidence.

So it sounds like you are willing to accept the fact that at this point you can do nothing. The documents that elderly abuse looked into must have been all nice and clean, indicating your Mom was dying on her own. If it showed she was administered morphine, the records showed she was in deep pain?
Well, you can continue to doubt the veracity of the records and reports put out by the doctor/nurse/ LaClede Grove, but it appears if you filed suit there would not be enough evidence to convince a judge. When the family is divided it is very difficult for one person to prevail. We had a situation where my Aunt was going to have her legs amputated, but my Mother, who was very close to her sister, my Aunt, objected because there was overwhelming evidence that some other treatments had not been administered, which would preclude any amputation. One of my Aunt's daughters has the final say, and she did not listen to my Mother or her other 2 sisters, just went ahead and approved the amputation. Of course, my Aunt, who was not old, in her early 60's was never the same and passed away within a year.
She had no other illness. She hated the wheelchair.
It is heartbreaking for you, but you can know that you spoke up for your Mother, and did your best. You can heal alright with a clear conscience, and still "talk" to your Mom in prayer. Wishing your blessings.

It is hard to say that I am willing to accept...I am not, which makes having any relationship with my father very difficult, especially since my sister has come between us now. I want to warn others and want to legally punish and try to stop such nursing homes from doing this. I, like many doctors here and in Canada, want legislation that prevents this and better monitoring to enforce. Proxy's should not be able to legally get by with it--should not have that kind of power to preclude a law. I did post on my mother's Caring Bridge site under AliceBauer to warn others that a Living Will can be overriden by proxy and thus your wishes not upheld, etc. You may want to going to the Caring Bridge website and enter mom's name and check it out at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/AliceBauer
My heart goes out to you about your aunt's demise by her daughter who would not listen, would not try, and as my mom said, "where there is life, there is hope." Faith comes from hoping for the yet unseen....God is right about it building perseverance and faith not tested is not true faith. To do something so horrific and permanent and make her mother live that way without trying everything is uncomprehendable, but I've attested to such behavior....is this love? How can they say it is?! Thanks for the encouragement about healing, and yes, I do talk to my mom. 🙂 Blessing right back to you, Tammy

Tammy, you sound determined to do something about the law. So many people after going through a heart wrenching experience, do go ahead and fight the legislation. I would like to see you do just that. I do not know how one begins, how on contacts expert people to help, but determination gets them through it.
I think of Natalie Holloway's Mother. What she went through, and how she doggedly fought those authorities until she brought down the killer ---finally got him on another case----and publicized the wrong doing in that country. What courage, what a fight she put up and persisted. Bless her. Yours is a very serious issue and and needs to be brought out in the open. I will check the web site. I wish you success, will keep you in my prayers. Helen