Due to violent circumstance & the bone burning cold of Lake Erie winters, I packed the barest things I could put in an extra long duffle bag & got on a train to WA. I knew no one there. Was invited to come stay til I could find a place, so I ran for my life. I took my 12 yr old son, but the 4 grown children stayed there. They had their own lives. I was healthy then, but didn't know a thing of the world, & it ate me. That was 97. It was also the last time my 5 children spoke to me. They were angry I left. But there is much they don't know I had to do to make sure they didn't do without. They will never know. I've been here in WA, had to move to ever smaller places, then I was accepted to Section 8 just as it closed. Otherwise I'd still be sleeping in a Camry with my service dog on Post where the MPs would pass by to check on us as we were parked in front of the laundrette, because the landlord of the cottage I was in he would enter while I slept or was gone to work. It was not safe. But I knew we'd be safe on Post. It was Feb. It took 3 legal aid lawyers to get free of the contractof that person that sent pictures of inside my cottage while I was gone to work. I felt violated. I lost all my deposit, give things away to soldiers families, but a friend I worked for paid for a truck, got help to move, & a deposit to get out of there as soon as the voyeur who demanded I obey him, agreed to the terms of the lawyers. I had already had everything I had left packed. With their help I was gone in 4hrs to where I safely am now. But still, only 1 daughter would talk with me, & one day she died. 25 yrs old in another state & I had no funds to go there. There was no point. My children's dad is very well off. My son that came with me left me because his dad had no ey & I didn't. The other 4 still would not speak to me. I have never understood the reason. I would try at birthdays to send at least an I love you message. silence. It finally shattered me when I read what someone wrote in a book, "Are you thinking more of them than they are if you?" I remember my hands falling from the book & staring at nothing. Then I thought of the boxes of memory things I still had from 97 that I brought with me of my children & took less clothes to make space for them. It was very painful, but with a friend's help, I slowly began going thru every box, giving so much to her to give to anyone who was in need, that she made trips. I asked the now 3 remaining children if they at least wanted the box if photos. no. So I put some on walls, but the rest is in the last box. I live bareboned as I can. Physically it is easier for me now at 68 & dealing with so many health things from being a laborer all the yrs I've been here. SS & a small L&I pension, a different service pup, thank you Lord for the Section 8 still, but I have more space here without the memory boxes, & with Time, less heartache. Was easier giving away kitchen & other things than things they had given me when they were small children. But I kept telling myself it will help or give a smile to a child somewhere. Many of the things have did. I am greatly blessed. God has watched over me & just when I thought at times I was going to have to live in the 96 Ford Explorer with my service pup on Post somewhere again, He made a way we could stay here. & we are safe. My retired military friend I worked all this yrs for, he & his family are still here for me. There not much here now, enough though. I am content. My oldest daughter started sending me msgs one day & I abide by the rule I can write back when she writes first & no talking Past things. I can do that gladly if it means hearing her. So pup & I are doing well, we are safe, we go to Base or Post so she can run while snail walk with my hiking pole. Two days ago I walked the whole perimeter of the hidden pond! Yesterday only half, but I still did it! Be grateful for every blessing no matter if it's just a few steps. I get to watch the C-17s every day & the CH-47s. My blood is ARMY green. Thank you Dad who served in N. Africa & Italy, thank you my brother who came back in body from Nam then vanished, & I pray for every soldiers & their fa6i see every day. I stop for VETS & welcome them home. I will NEVER forget. All I've been thru, nothing compared to my soldiers, The Boots. They kept me safe as my pup & I slept cold in a car on Post. I have the honor of watching them every day & watch in awe as another C-17 lifts off. My Boots have been my encouragement to "keep movin". I have fought with fear & tears, but I'm still standing. I have a 1 bedroom apt with a washer/dryer, my truck is still working, my retired 1st Sergeant & his family still help, the other friend still hauls off more I downsize though there's not much left. But I enjoy the open space. & my last memory box of photos. I was welcomed to volunteer to help my VETS as an honorary RANGERS VET, (even though the recruiter wouldn't accept me when I was 18), at a VA golf course. HOOYAH! My heart near breaks with pride & honor for each one I'm getting to know. & I'm learning to truly smile & laugh. So the bottom line of all this? downsizing has been a blessing though at times a painful one, I keep asking 'Is this a need or a want & will I use it this week?' If the answer it's a want & no it won't get used, it goes into the Give Box. I enjoy filling those kinds of boxes. I'm free.💜🐕‍🦺