So Marilyn , I get it, and I KNOW losing your partner when your age is past 85, is VERY difficult. (General Consensus of Opinion). I am so sorry! I can make suggestions, but the old "we are so different" always comes into play. I used to be a Volunteer in many different ways with different circumstances and Organizations. Right now, there are still a few Millennials that ask advice, but no more door to door. Church is not an option for me, but perhaps it would make a HUGE difference in your life? Better still. even volunteering to make phone calls to other widows or widowers can make a you know you are not alone in your grief. Check out some Organization in you area...or outside in a larger city? You are NOT alone. Best to you!