@507 I'm not saying you needed to be rejected. I said you have a chance to reinvent yourself. You didn't ask for this trouble or deserve it, but you can rise above it. Like the saying when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade. It's a lot to think about, but don't allow yourself to get trapped by anyone who wants to control you. They always try to bait you with something . I had to learn not to take the bait and to just walk away. That may make someone angry, but that is their issue. You have a choice to engage with them or not.

My dad had a first heart attack at 50, and as I got close to that age, I worried about it too; did I inherit that?..... but I was fine. I don't handle stress well and my blood pressure goes up if I am under a lot of stress and get upset. I even when to a cardiologist and got checked out. I was fine, and that was because when my dad had his heart attack , I was young and we all changed to a more healthy diet at that time, so I had years of more healthy eating and it made a difference! The choices that you make about your health can change your destiny for good or bad depending on your choices. At 64, my dad had a head injury that forever changed him, and as I got to that age I thought about that too and the lesser quality of his life that was left. That was his life not mine, and it's important to remember not to take on something or a problem that doesn't belong to you. Live your life for yourself. You were not meant to repeat your parent's life history.

I asked about driving because it gives you independence. Just knowing you can leave anytime you need to go to safety is a big comfort. You can always drive to a police station or fire station if you feel like you are in danger and call 911 as you do.

You might discuss moving to another state with the social security office to see if that would change any possible benefits or any Medicaid insurance. That is probably run through a state and you would be starting over. You might want to be close enough to maintain an ongoing relationship with your sons. That would likely be important to them too. Remember to keep and nurture ties with the friends you do have.

You can come back to this conversation anytime. I hope you do check in from time to time so I'll know that you're OK. I may not remember to look this up, but you can always type @jenniferhunter in your post and that will tag me, and you can tag other members that way too. Remember, you're not alone, and if you need help, reach out to someone. At the beginning of this discussion is the National Domestic Violence Hotline and if you find yourself in danger, please use it or your local law enforcement.

Aside from the divorce, is it something about your health that is making you feel vulnerable or is it just the thought of being out on your own? I went through that too, and I learned to be happy all by myself living on my own. I got a couple of cats back then who helped me and lived with me 16 years. I have another set of cats now who keep me entertained. The first 2 cats got me through a failed marriage, and the cats I have now helped me when I was loosing my dad a few years ago. I was taking care of my dad at their house with end stage heart disease and there was nothing anyone could do, and my dad was ready to go. I cried every night when he couldn't see me, and adopting a silly cat made me laugh on those very tough days. I took the cat with me when I stayed at my parent's house. I had just lost my dad, then I got the call from Mayo for a spine surgery consult and had spine surgery at Mayo, and as I was finishing up my 3 months in a neck brace, I adopted 2 kittens. They are all grown up, but very fun to have around. All of these types of events in your life can build resilience.

That brings up something else you might be interested in. If you look up the videos of Dr. Sood who was a doctor at Mayo and is now retired, he has a lot of tips and training and books about building resilience, and even some online courses. I have 2 of his books, the Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness, and the Mayo Clinic Guide for Stress Free Living. They are both excellent. Going through spine surgery was not easy for me, and I had to face a significant amount of fear, but doing that made me better and changed my life because I gained resilience. Reading Dr. Sood's book told me why my methods worked which was using my art and music as therapy. Here are a some links for Dr. Sood. I'm not just saying this because this is a Mayo Clinic forum, but because these are good resources that I believe will help. If you have a counselor who can help you too, that would be wonderful.
https://medium.com/authority-magazine/author-dr-amit-sood-rising-through-resilience-five-things-you-can-do-to-become-more-resilient-673b0a1e9f2a
https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/healthcare-systems-and-services/our-insights/battling-burnout-a-conversation-with-resiliency-expert-dr-amit-sood
https://www.resilientoption.com/books
https://resilientliving.net/