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Spouse with cognitive problems and finances

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Dec 30, 2022 | Replies (290)

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@jjcc

I too am having same issues with money and bills. I am 59, my husband is 66, we have been married for 5 years-both of us were widowers before-and he has had Parkinsons for 15 years. Recently he has been in a sharp decline and money is one of his biggest anxiety points. I made sure that I had all of the bills coming through our joint account-which he doesn't remember exists-he has access to only his investment accounts. We too are going to see an elder law attorney to make sure that his funds are correctly set up and that there are safeguards in place when he is in a "sell it all, the world is ending" mode. From one day to the other he forgets our banking set up so we go through the discussion often. Since his decline is new, I am struggling greatly with his fast mental status changes. I find it easier to agree with whatever he is saying, take the wind out of the argument and then do what is right when he is napping...it sounds a bit devious but a lot less anxiety ridden. I also don't follow it all of the time and let my emotions go-bad idea. He is starting not to remember who I am..."you are my wife, but I don't know who you are." UGH.

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Replies to "I too am having same issues with money and bills. I am 59, my husband is..."

JJ -- So sorry to hear about your situation... and you folks are so young!

Think you're doing the right things... defusing immediate emotional events, following through thereafter as needed, and keeeping the MD and attorney informed.

If you're not already doing so, please also consider adding some stress-relieving activities. I'm sure all of us can benefit from these.

All the best... hang in there!

/LarryG