Scared

Hi. I am new to this board and if anyone could help or has any opinions that would be great. I got very sick in Feb 11 I was losing weight rapidly and had constant rectal pressure and very tired. My pcp kept insisting that I had C-diff and mono. I am a nurse and I had been taking care of a pt that had C-diff. Even though my c-diff came back negative six times he still persisted that was the problem. By May I had lost thirty two pounds and was going to the bathroom twenty to thirty times a day. I could not stay hydrated and could not take the pain anymore. I was admitted I had a endo and colonoscopy I was told that I had Crohns Disease. I failed first line treatment therapy Asacol, Pentasa. Had a small bowel series in June new discovery a mass on my right ovary and a endocervical tumor was not on CT in May. Had a emergency hysterectomy. Was re-admitted back to the hospital in Aug for left upper quadrant pain and lower quadrant pain with black stools and again twenty to thirty a day. Was told I had a UTI and a flare up was started on Remicade. Tried Remicade until December severe fatigue, fever, sick all the time, tremors. Still going to the bathroom non-stop no weight gain. Was switched to Humira same issues with Remicade no energy, no weight gain, tremors, and severe headache. My pcp decided to start me on Marinol because I am down to 98lbs. Was re-admitted last week and spent a week in the ICU because my body could not take the Marinol. Not only was I going to the bathroom non stop and I was now vomitting. Was re-scoped GI doctor does not have any idea what is going on in fact I got my records and out of eight biopsies both from last year and this year none positive for Crohns Disease. Negative for celicac sprue both times. So she has put me, my family, and career through a living nightmare for nothing? Not to mention my mental health. Since this has began I have been put on lexapro, lamictal, trazadone, clonazepam. This last time I was admitted they hospitalist just decided to take me off all those medications to "wash my system out." Almost everybody and anybody knows you do not just take someone off those types of medications. I was treated like I needed to be put in a insane asylum or go to treatment. As a nurse I can not believe I let these people treat me like this. I am not crazy I am in constant pain and whatever is going on with me I deserve to have a correct diagnosis. I have a apt with Dr. Russell I Heigh on July 31. I am scared to death but at the same time I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know he does not have some fairy dust that he can shake on me and make me Nicole again. I need to be realistic. I might not hear something I want to hear. Does anybody here on this board have any experience with this doctor? I had to go and be evaulated by a treatment program last week. The only honest and kind Dr I have found along this awful journey simply stated "you do not need to be in treatment you need a proper diagnosis who would not be depressed." I am tired of being treated like this is all in my head and yes I do smoke. I am trying everything and anything to stop before I get to this apt because I do not want to be look down upon and I do not want to be told it is in my head. Is this Dr. going to treat me like I have been treated for the last year and a half?