Thank you for the reply. Nice to know that I am not the only one out there. I had a complete break down today. I can go from being angry to crying in about two seconds. Being malnoursihed can play tricks on your emotions because everything is out of whack. I know that and I am sure you do to but when your having a breakdown it does not make it feel any better. No they have have never walked a day in your shoes or mine. I actually had a RN tell me "I know how you feel the birth control was posioning me for six months." My reply to that was simply looking at her like she was the stupidest person I have ever met and she better be glad I was on alot of pain medication. I would never tell one of my patients that EVER! I do alot of praying it is the only way I could have gotten through this week. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers this week. Never give up on yourself you are your own best advocate. I think that is what I am having done when I get to the clinic in AZ on the 31st. Again thank you for replying I feel kind of lost. I have loss people that I thought were friends because I can't do anything and they do not understand what it is like to somedays you simply do not even care about getting up to brush your teeth. They are not good for me anyways one of them had the nerve to ask me if I had anorexia and another told me I looked like a holocaust survivor. So again stay strong, be your own advocate, and never walk away again thinking that it is in your head.

omg i have had drs ask me if i have an eating disorder. its like "yes you dumbfucks,i have an eating disorder. thats why im in your office begging to help me find a way to gain weight." dont anorexic people generally not want others to know about there suffering.lol it does feel nice to know another knows your pain. i went to church today and started crying. i feel like no one understands. and i have my faith in the lord but am getting so sick that at times i wish id pass away. but i have four kids and they are the only reason im attempting to carry on. they mean more to me then anyhting in the world but at times i feel like a failure of a mother for being so sick. my eldest who is ten lost her father to cancer when she was five and he was 27. i also have a five year old girl and identical twin boys that are a year. there dad is an addict that is always recovering then fucking up which only causes more misory to my world. hes staying here to help my since im so ill but i finally got the guts to put an end to the relationship last month. anyone willing to take advantage of a sick person, well i dont know what to think about it. i hardly have any friends and my three that have stuck by me live in norway, chicago, and wisconsen so i am feeling so alone at times it hurts to breathe.

I made the mistake of speaking my mind about no longer wanting to live during my last hospitalization. Not that they did anything about except treat me like I was the crazy girl in room #6. The only thing that keeps me going is my son he is nine. Some days I feel guilty about that. Of course he has no idea that I feel that way but if he did I would feel horrible. Then I feel like a horrible mother it is summer and all he has got to do is watch his mother be sick or in the hospital. Dr's do not seem to get that when you live your life on the toilet or in bed after eating that yeah you really do not want to eat who would.
DOES NOT make you an anorexic. My cousin is anorexic or was (they do not normally just throw it out there). You probably needed to get the addict out of your life he probably really not helping you but probably hurting you in the long run. But when you feel alone sometimes you do not care who it there just somebody. When it hurts to breathe remember your kids, friends and God. Be Strong and I am always here. Although I am in KS. I am so glad I posted on here today it is a great way to end my day I did not want to because I feel like everytime I share my story people think I am crazy. By the way, if I went to church I would do the same thing. Sit there and cry. Its hard to not be hard on yourself in this kind of situation but take a step back and know that a answer will be coming soon:)

feeble.. this may sound weird or another attempt by someone to give you advise on how to live but its the best i have.. reading your post and your profile, it seems you cannot add weight to your frame .. reading your replies and wondering what your not doing or what you are doing makes me think your not eating. sweetheart i feel sorry for you .. i too have a son i never see .. well its a matter of distance and money .. but he knows i am here always .. i gave him my truck for his 16Th bday.. i dont want a pat on the back.. i am his dad.. point taken right?? what advise i have for you is this.. drink whey protein milkshake drinks.walmart sells them for about twenty bucks all you need is milk or water and they will help you gain weight.. it is a start. at least you will get something in you that the body needs. it come in a big container and will last you about a week and a half. if you dont like to eat or want to stay thin as you are this stuff will at least put what you need in you... ok?? give it a try..

How did the pill call go? Let me know when you have time.