@arleen1972 thank you but its now been 3 yrs of not well most days and honestly i cannot believe it, as have written before c.diff,glaucoma,change in long term zoloft use; 4 friends dying, then next year dr took me off another med been on 15 yrs and put me back on one i took myself off cos of glaucoma etc. etc. on top of ibs. then got fecal incontinence and the list goes on... i see a dr for first time and start the conversation and as i talk about my list can see them almost shake their head...currently only have nurse practitioner and at 79 and as i volunteer saying, have had enough... and yes i do realize it could be worse but my limit has been reached and i am not ashamed to say that but do feel sad about it, but there comes atime when enough is enough. am getting phone and zoom counselling but where is someone today with my eustachian tube pain, bowel issues, whole body hurts.. and cannot take many meds due to narrow angle glaucoma, just feeling sorry for myself but being realistic also, husband ill and tired of listening to me... but i apprciate your kind thoughts. i should have insisted and persisted in help over the years but where i live and then covid, year or two wait even to see ent and then dr suggets meds i cannot take, or risk vision.. and so it goes on, i cherish the hours, not days, that i may feel almost normal... but today is bad. hope you are ok and thanks again and everyone on here is so helpful, hugs xxx