I think the Elder Law attorney practices all .do the same thing- there is “ala cart “ where you pick what you want done or a “package”. I went with the “package”- it includes everything- the paperwork (updated wills, advanced directives, powers of attorney), social workers who call monthly to check in with you, nurses to help with any health questions you have and help manage care if you want them to (they contact your PCPs, the pharmacy, manage all that). My husband had to go into the hospital and then a SNF for 10 weeks- if I wanted, they would work with the discharge planners, attend the Plan of Care meetings, arrange transportation. Right now I just want the monthly social worker calls, it’s really nice to talk to someone who really understands what you’re going through and always gives me encouragement and some good suggestions.
BUT a HUGE important part of the Elder Law help is that they have a Certified Medicaid Planner who will sit with you and go over everything financial (with complete confidentiality) to make a plan to protect your assets according to the laws of your state. Unfortunately, with dementia, he will most probably require admission to assistive living or a nursing facility for his safety in the future. Once facility admission is necessary, Medicaid will be in the future and your assets before admission need to be carefully looked at, so your legally allowable share is protected for you. It would be very easy to just private pay until your savings as a couple are depleted, but that’s NOT required by your state. You MUST protect yourself. The Elder Law practice Certified Medicaid Planner will really put your mind at ease.
The tipping point in our house was when my husband began to leave the house at night unbeknownst to me, neighbors brought him home. He had become very verbally abusive, shouting, refusing to allow me to help with meds, leaving water faucets on full-blast, etc. One water bill was over $1000, the water authority lady asked if we had a swimming pool :), I put in the faucets that turn off after 2 minutes running, I had signs taped around the house. I really tried which I know you are too. But this well-traveled road has very well-known and inevitable sign posts along the way, so when I feel discouraged, I tell myself it’s time to put your big girl pants on and get moving 😂😂