Ginger, you are so right in recommending the Alanon program. Although it is primarily known for guidance in cases of alcohol/substance abuse, it is much more. It offers guidance in detaching from the problems of a loved one, not the loved one, whatever the problems may be. This would include adult children who for whatever reason do not stand on their own two feet. It is a philosophy to maintain your own mental health while still showing love.

This is a healthy path for anyone who struggles with the guilt of not helping a loved one (financially, or emotionally) and the knowledge that each of us must make our own way. As an adult child of an alcoholic mother, I can attest to the value of the Alanon program. It not only helped me come to terms with my mother's alcoholism, but the philosophy has helped me maintain a healthy balance in every relationship I have. You do not have to go to the meetings if you do not wish to, as they have many books from which you can learn the philosophies.