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Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question
Aging Well | Last Active: Mar 23 9:13pm | Replies (473)Comment receiving replies
My brother-in-law and sister are dealing with this right now. His Mom lived in her home for 59 years, and every nook & cranny is filled with treasures. The 5 kids and many grandkids have taken what they want, but it has fallen on them to arrange & conduct a huge estate sale on very short notice because the home is sold and the new owner is waiting to take possession. They have been working on this many hours a day for the past month - How much better it would have been if Mom had gifted each of her many friends with a single memento?
My Mom downsized many times, and did exactly that. At then end, 90% of her remaining possessions went to her children & grandchildren, often based on her guidance. Finishing up took my sister & me, with our husbands, just 2 days.
Where I spend 1/2 my year, in a community of tiny homes, when we lose a friend, the possessions their families choose to take away usually fit in an SUV. The rest are sold with the house, to be loved by the next owner, or passed on by them to neighbors. We have all learned to limit, let go, and share - a lovely way to manage.
So when I come home, I try to take the same view of possessions in my larger, but still small by 2022 standards, home. As a result, we are making space, recycling belongings to those who will use them, a simplifying. And we are getting to the point that we are surrounded only by "things" that are in use or truly bring us joy. Each Spring & Summer, I clean a few more spaces - sheds, closets, cabinets...and find I need fewer things than I imagined.
Sue
Replies to "My brother-in-law and sister are dealing with this right now. His Mom lived in her home..."
@sueinmn This weekend a friend here in town is dealing with just that. "In spades" as they say. In May her mother-in-law passed after a long decline in health. They live four doors down the street. Since then, Kelly and her family [husband and grown daughter] have decided to follow her son in moving from Oregon to Missouri to daughter-in-law's family stomping grounds. This weekend was the estate sale for mother-in-law, which was bittersweet for her husband. I had the chance to speak to him and how it is affecting him emotionally. All the while they are readying their houses for sale and selling, downsizing, telling stories to buyers of old crystal, cookware, momentos, etc.
When my folks moved in 1986, from one end of California to the other end, the only things they didn't take was a 25 year collection of Scientific American magazines, same with National Geographic magazines, and a couple out-dated computers. By 1996 when my mother passed, they had moved twice more, down-sizing a bit more. By 2012 when my dad passed, he had moved at least four move times, the last time into a one bedroom apartment in a 55+ complex, with a walk-in closet he stuffed full! Each child got at least one item that he hand-picked and gifted personally to them. A couple more things were delineated in his will. My older sister took on the task [alone, although each of us offered to help!] of sorting/cataloguing all the remaining items that we all were given lists of, and items not moved to children were sold/gifted away.
It's not an easy task to downsize. I am at the point where I do not gather more things.
Ginger
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We do need far fewer things than we imagine. I cleaned out my frying pan drawer and threw out all but two.