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thank you so much for your response, Lori. I'm trying really hard to stick it out and, honestly, it's not that hard. I would (and will!) do anything to be back with him. Right now, it's just a waiting game until he's out of the ICU and can start contacting people and requesting visitors (without his dad trying to control these decisions). I've not actually sent the letters to him knowing that his family would not give them to him. I've been using them more as, not only an outlet to express my own feelings, anxieties, and stressors, but also as a way to have something to give him when he is able to see me.
It's funny you mention it, but I am really praying for a fresh, clean start with him. We've been very destructive with each other and were not always making the best decisions (something his parents blame me for). Even though it's only been a little over a week, I've already made major changes in my own outlook on life. I've become more positive (somehow haha) and have a much more stable and healthy approach to life in general. I'm hoping that this will transgress into my boyfriend's life as that is something that will significantly benefit his healing process.
Thank you, again, for your response. You've really made me feel heard and much less alone.

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Replies to "thank you so much for your response, Lori. I'm trying really hard to stick it out..."

Emma, you sound very level headed and introspective. I think most of us have those ‘ah-ha’ moments when we do some self evaluation and make changes going forward. It’s easy to get caught up in a pattern, whether positive or destructive. Even when we know that perhaps we need to change it’s difficult because it’s easier to just keep going with what we know. Whether we’re complacent, lazy or maybe even a little scared of change, I don’t know. But we have that ability to grow and modify our lives. So I applaud you for seeing that maybe there can be changes for the positive in your life…and your boyfriend!
Please keep in touch and I wish you all the best with the life changes you want to make. It is doable!! Positivity is contagious. ☺️
Let me know how your boyfriend is doing ok?